Silence is Golden
by AoifeRose
Summary: Tragedy strikes the Rizzoli's and the usually calm Jane loses it. Rizzles eventually, just gona let it flow and see where it goes - let Jane and Maura take me where they want to go :) M will be in later chapters, hence why it's here now! I couldn't post a website warning at the end of Ch. 5 so Google National Self Harm Network if anything in the chapter affects you x
1. Chapter 1

**Applies across all the Chapters because I will inevitably forget! None of them are mine – they belong to Tess, Janet and TNT. All typing errors are mine! Promos for S4 and Olivia and Amanda finally vacating my mind allowed me to get somewhere with this. I've part of Ch. 2 written, when I finish it and put it up. It'll probably be M hence why this is in the M section now! Enjoy**

**Chapter 1**

The silence in the house was deafening. Jo Friday was at Maura's. Tommy and TJ were asleep and Frankie was at work. And Angela…

_3 moths earlier:_

The reception of BPD was its usual busy self on Monday morning. There was a mix of hobos and petty thieves and recovering social drinkers who'd lost phones/wallets/been jumped over the weekend and were only sober enough to report it now. In fact if the hobos and petty thieves had a chat with the hung-over people they'd probably find that they had the solution to each other's problems. If the hobos or petty thieves hadn't stolen their property they'd certainly be able to teach them about the dangers of alcohol. In many cases it was the reason most of them ended up on the street or robbing for a living.

As Jane sipped the non-fat latte Maura had insisted she start drinking because she had to start 'looking after herself if she wanted to find a desirable mate', Jane smiled as she thought of the three sugars she'd just put in her cup that she was never, on pain of death going to tell Maura about. She heard someone shout 'Vanilla' – she couldn't mistake that voice – Rondo. But as quick as she heard the voice she heard a gunshot. Survival mode kicked in. She reached for her gun, as she took cover. She heard two sounds, screaming as those without a gun were running in every direction and those who had a gun and were reaching for their holsters.

The reception area and coffee shop were silent as the melee died down and a terrifying silence replaced the buzz that had been going on just seconds earlier. Jane crept forward on her haunches and reached the door of the coffee shop, which allowed her to peer into the hall. She could see Rondo and a guy about her height with his arm around Rondo's neck with a gun to his head, hand shaking so the gun was moving around wildly. Jane assessed the floor quickly. There were two detectives, one from vice and Frost, standing at the door to the elevators. The detective from vice had a coffee in his hand – 'very bright Jane thought – throw that on him that'll make him drop the gun'. Frost had his weapon drawn - well at least someone knows what they're doing she thought.

Frost was the first to speak 'Hey man, what's with the gun? There's a lot of people around here could get hurt'

'Shut up man – I ain't got time for you talking rubbish'. Where's this Detective Rizzo? No one answered. 'Someone answer me or I'm gona blow this guys head off'. Frost continued to try and keep him calm. 'There's no Detective Rizzo working here man, come on put the gun down'. He pushed the gun to Rondo's temple; 'What's her name fool?' Rondo answered in a strangled tone 'I don't know'. 'Of course you know idiot boy, I saw you talkin to her'. He started to count down 'when I get to 1 you're gona die, you ready? '3,2…' 'Rizzoli, Rondo screamed, Rizzoli, her names, Detective Rizzoli'. Frost kept calm his expression never changing. 'Detective Rizzoli isn't here yet, she's not on until midday'. 'Ok well I suppose I'm just gona have to kill her friend Rondo so she gets here quicker'. The man was getting more agitated and moving closer to the coffee shop which still had some patrons cowering under tables, including Kate and Jamie, Officer Harvey's wife and new baby who were waiting for him to get off shift. Jane made a decision in that second, as she looked at the tiny baby asleep in his mother's arms. She stood up and walked towards the hall. She got to the door of the coffee shop when she heard a voice scream 'Janie no'. Then she heard a shot and instinct kicked in as she ducked and rolled, and heard a second and then third shot. As she regained her balance and stood screaming once again filled the air.

She looked ahead of her; Rondo and the shooter were on the floor, blood visible on both. Frost was running towards them. What happened? Her mind was in overdrive. She moved to Rondo, he was breathing, talking, eyes open, wincing a bit but conscious, a gunshot wound to his right arm. His captor was conscious with a gunshot wound to his right shoulder and blood on his head from where he hit it when he fell. Jane heard a scream behind her. It was Maura. Jesus the third shot – was she hit? She turned and ran towards the scream, which seemed to have come from the café. 'Maura?' No one answered. There was someone on the floor but Maura was kneeling beside them. 'Maura what the…' She saw Maura's hands covered in blood pressed to her mother's stomach trying to stem the bleeding. 'Someone give me a towel please?' 'Ma. Oh My God, Ma. Maura what happened?' She knew she was asking the most obvious question ever but her brain had vacated her body. She felt like she was hovering above the entire scene. 'ETA on the EMT's anyone' Maura shouted to no one in particular. '3 minutes out doc' Harvey shouted as he cradled his son and wife in the same position under the table.

'Ok I need something to stem the blood flow. Can someone please give me a sweater or a clean towel she asked, this time more irritated'

Jane fell to her knees beside her mother as she took off her jacket and handed to Maura. Angela's eyes were open and as Jane put her arm under her head she turned slightly to look at her only daughter.

'Janie…' Angela said in a strained voice

'No Ma, don't try to talk, it's ok I'm here. Maura is gona sort you out. It's fine'.

'Janie, tell Frankie…'

'Ma, stop talking, it's ok, Frankie will be here in a minute'

'Don't let… don't let… him see me'

'Angela you need to stop talking now' Maura said, looking towards the door with real concern, wishing the EMT's would hurry up. Jane's jacket was soaked in blood and it wasn't stemming the bleeding.

Jane could hear Rondo in the distance hollering 'Vanilla, is Mrs. Vanilla alright? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry'

'Ma it's ok, everything is going to be ok. You've the best doctor in the world looking after you and the EMT's are just here' Jane heard the sirens approach.

As she said the last words she realised that her mum had slipped out of consciousness.

She could hear her own heartbeat in her ears as she began to panic and swallowed the bile that was rising in her throat.

'Ma?' She put her hand down, her instinct to shake her. But Maura stopped her, taking her hand in her own and squeezing it tight.

'Jane we need to let the EMT's in. Jane? Jane?' Maura's voice eventually penetrated Jane's thoughts as she felt the ME stand behind her and pull her into a standing position.

'Ma, ma can you hear me Ma?

'Jane she's not conscious. They're going to move her now. She's strong Jane.'

Jane turned herself around in Maura's arms and felt the doctor hold her tight as she watched the EMT's load her mother onto a stretcher over her shoulder, checking her vitals and speaking. Their lips were moving but Jane didn't hear what they were saying. All she could see was her mother's body on the stretcher not moving, pale and bleeding.

'Ma?' Jane asked again through her tears. She buried her head into Maura's shoulder and shook as the tears streamed down her face. She tried to pull back and Maura knew she was going to try and go in the ambulance. She also knew that Jane was going to go through a tirade of emotions in 3 minutes flat, her usual MO. when it came to things like this. The shock would wear off and she'd start to get angry. Then she's start to become tense and anxious and eventually she'd start to get in the way of the EMT's as they tried to do their best which wouldn't be good enough for Jane. Maura knew she had to get Jane into a squad car behind the ambulance, it was the only way everyone would survive the trip to the hospital. Frost seemed to have read her mind and there was an unmarked car and a squad car at the door, both with their blue lights flashing. Jane began to move but she was unsteady on her feet. Maura wrapped an arm around her waist and steadied her as they walked to the car. Frankie was already in the unmarked car with Korsak driving. Jane and Maura were ushered into the back of the marked car and the procession made it's way sirens blaring, lights flashing to the hospital.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Turns out I had half a later chapter written, needed to put 1 or 2 in between to make the one I have written sense. So here goes. Hope it's ok. I normally just write one shots cause I don't like to let people down or leave them waiting for chapters. Anything you think could improve things let me know! **

**Chapter 2**

When the doors from theatre opened a bed was wheeled through and the doctor that came with it called 'Rizzoli', Jane Frankie and Tommy automatically made a beeline for her. The surgeon in the scrub cap introduced herself as Dr. James and asked that the family be seated so they walked to where Frost, Korsak, Cavanaugh and Maura were seated. Angela had come through surgery but she had lost a lot of blood, had needed her spleen removed and had a concussion from hitting her head off a table when she fell. She was still sedated so the gunshot wound could be allowed time to heal. They all hollered questions at once and the doctor held her hand up to try and quiet them. When she explained that Angela needed rest and they shouldn't stay too long just look in on her one by one – and only the three children, the Rizzoli's got even louder in their protests. But the doctor held her hand up and insisted they be quiet. She left them with a nod and a smile to Maura who she recognised from various medical lectures one of which she had given that Dr. James had been very impressed by.

They all wanted to be the first to go on and it almost resulted in another screaming match until Cavanaugh called rank on the two he was in charge of and told Tommy to go and see his Mom. As Jane and Frankie protested he reassured them like a father would.

'Tommy didn't get to see your Mom before surgery, you two did. You were here. Think about how angry you'd be if you were him?'

Jane and Frankie knew he was right and after a minute of staring at each other they sat down as Tommy walked quickly into Angela's room. Cavanaugh was as scared as the Rizzoli kids of what was happening. He was still fond of Angela and he hoped some day they might be able to make another go of their relationship. For now he would look after her kids the best he could.

Maura was trying to reassure Jane for the last few hours but when Jane asked a medical question she couldn't give her a definite answer without a lot of 'hypothetical speech', so Jane gave up asking and started to pace. She wanted to hold Jane but she knew she was in no mood to be held. Maura knew a lot more about Jane than she thought. She knew with a look what kind of mood the detective was in. She knew by her mannerisms what she was feeling. She knew by the way she talked whether she believed what she was saying or not. And Jane knew Maura almost as well as she knew Jane. Maura had never wished so much that she could lie and tell her friend it would all be ok. But she knew Jane would know she was lying, so she remained silent and watched her, feeling dizzy as her eyes followed her but not wanting to stop for fear she might miss something.

When Tommy came out of the room ashen and quiet Frankie didn't have a chance to move to go in as Jane bolted for the door to Angela's room. Maura's eyes followed her in and she almost willed herself to be able to see through the closed door.

The steady beep from a machine measuring her mother's heart rate and blood pressure filled the room. It was the only noise. Angela lay still as a statue in the middle of the bed, pale and lifeless, her breathing barely perceptible were you not as acutely as Jane was for signs of it. Her hair lay limp around her shoulders and the eyes that Jane looked to so often for reassurance were closed. Jane was almost afraid to approach the bed; afraid to move for fear she would break some kind of protective barrier protecting her from harm. She moved slowly towards her Ma and as she reached the bed she saw lines running into her hand, through the gown the dressing covering the area that when she last saw it was drenched in blood and stiches along the back of her head where she'd hit her head when she fell. What Jane saw wasn't her Ma. What Jane saw was a vulnerable human being. Not someone infallible or immortal. Her mother was human. Her mother had flaws; her mother would some day die. Jane couldn't believe she'd never known. Why had no one told her? Why hadn't she told her mother she loved her more, why hadn't she gone into the café for a minute this morning and said hello as she hurried into work? Why hadn't anyone told her her mother was a real human being and not her all seeing all knowing Ma? These questions were going round and round in her head as she walked out of the room without so much as touching her mother's hand. She slammed the door causing everyone sitting outside to jump as she charged down the corridor towards the department exit tears streaming down her face. Maura was on her feet in seconds to follow her as she heard Tommy call 'Janie?' behind her.

Jane finally stopped when she reached the parking lot outside the hospital. The cold air stung her face as it mingled with the tears. She shivered as she gasped, trying to get some air into her lungs. But it was useless; she couldn't breath. As her head started to spin from lack of oxygen she felt an arm slip around her waist and turn her around. Maura, she could smell honey and Moroccan hair oil, it was Maura. She turned around and felt Maura's arms encircle her and try to hold her, the heat of her body so welcoming. But Jane couldn't be held. She couldn't allow herself be weak. This was all her fault. It was her fault her mother had been shot. She didn't deserve comfort. She deserved to be punished. She had to be the strong one now. She stepped away from Maura's embrace.

'Maura don't'. Maura looked shocked as Jane pushed her away.

'Jane, it's okay'.

'No it's not okay Maura, it's not okay'. Jane was getting angry, her tone louder.

'No obviously literally speaking it is not okay Jane. Literally speaking your mother is very ill'

Jane cut across her 'Ok now is not time for a grammar lesson'

'No I'm sorry of course not. I just want you to know I'm here Jane. I know how you're feeling'

'How can you know how I'm feeling? You had 4 people in your life at one time or another who all claimed to be your parents but they were all lying. You didn't have real parents'.

Maura flinched at Jane's words. Jane tried to approach her to apologise.

'Maur I'm…'

Maura's tone was bitter and cold as cut across Jane 'No Jane. You're right, how could I know what parental love is? Who ever loved me? Paddy Doyle? No – he told everyone I was dead. Hope Martin? No she just wanted my kidney. My adoptive parents appeared to love me but they really just bought me a good education and nice clothes; I was a charity case. They saved the poor little orphan'.

'Maur I'm sorry, God, I'm sorry'

'Why be sorry Jane. You're right'. Maura's tone was flat and her eyes were blank as she stared at Jane.

'I think it's time I left. It's only meant to be family with her now and I have work tomorrow'

'Maura you are family' Jane reached out to take Maura's arm but she pulled away

'No I'm not Jane'.

Jane watched Maura as she walked away; shoulders slumped, her usual demure walk giving way to one of sheer exhaustion as she moved slowly towards a taxi rank. Her eyes filled with a fresh round of tears. What she couldn't see was that Maura too had tears streaming down her face.


	3. Chapter 3

Maura didn't have the energy to do anything when she got home except take off her dress, hang it up and fall into bed. No exfoliating, no make-up removal just falling into a heap into bed. She had cried the whole way home and the taxi driver had asked if she was going home to someone. She lied and said yes, immediately feeling the hives on her neck. She didn't want to talk to this stranger and she certainly didn't want him escorting her to her door.

The tears didn't stop when she got to bed either. In fact the petite doctor curled into a tiny ball in the corner of her bed and took up only inches of it as she cried herself to sleep. Flashbacks of the cruel words that everyone threw at her as a child came hurtling back – nerd, teacher's pet, ginger minger, geek. She never thought the one woman she let in, the one woman she called a friend, could hurt her like that with just her words. But she had and Maura was numb.

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As the sun rose Jane shifted in the chair outside her mother's door. Every muscle in her body screamed in pain as she rotated her neck to try and loosen things up. She only succeeded in making it worse. She had refused point blank to leave her, regardless of what they said and when they threatened her with security she simply said she'd keep coming back. Dr. James relented seeing as she was a friend of Dr. Isles and knew that given she was a cop, like most she'd met from the BPD after incidents, she'd behave.

She saw a nurse approach the room door where her mother was and hopped up. She approached but she was too late to get to her before she closed the door. A few minutes later she saw the nurse emerge and ask how her mother was.

"She's the same as she was last night Miss Rizzoli, but I thought you might like to keep an eye on her yourself". The nurse indicated that she had opened the venetian blind fully so Jane could see in from the seating area. She looked down at the nurse's badge

"Thanks Janice"

"No problem. Can I make a suggestion though?"

Jane nodded her eyes now fixed on the window

"Go home and get some rest. She's stable and her condition is not going to change any time soon. She'll be sedated for another day at least. So go and freshen up and give yourself a break"

Janice's husband was a cop and although she didn't tell Jane she knew what had happened and she also knew that cops blamed themselves when things like this happened.

Jane was hesitant but Janice persisted

"Go, we have your cell number, if anything changes I'll ring straight away, I promise"

Jane was still staring at her mother's unmoving body. She heard what Janice was saying but she wasn't listening properly. It took the caring woman putting her hand on Jane's elbow for her to process what she was saying.

"Go home detective"

Jane nodded. "Okay, a few more minutes and I'll go"

Janice smiled and gave her elbow a reassuring squeeze before moving to the next room.

Jane stood for another half hour watching, waiting for something; anything to happen to show signs her mother was still there. But nothing happened. So she decided it was time for her to do what she did best

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Maura found it hard to open her eyes because of the mascara clumped on her eyelashes and the fact her sheets were knotted around her legs and waist. When she finally managed to open her eyes and untangle herself she saw that it was 6 a.m. She had an awful headache from falling asleep crying. She made her way to the bathroom slowly and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red, her hair was greasy and she had a scratch on her face; she'd obviously scraped herself in her sleep when she was thrashing around. She felt like she hadn't slept at all. She turned on the water in the shower and waited for it to heat up as she thought about last night's events. Tears threatened again as she saw Bass out of the corner of her eye shuffling along the bedroom carpet. She walked to him and sat down on the soft carpet to talk to the tortoise. He seemed to sense her presence and stopped. She stroked his shell and promised she'd feed him soon.

"Looks like it's just you and me from now on"

She sat for a while just stroking his shell and allowing her tears to fall. She eventually made her way into the shower to wash off the remnants of yesterday's awful events.

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Jane appeared in the bullpen 45 minutes after she'd left Beth Israel. She'd been home for 15 minutes to shower, change and walk Jo. There was nothing in the fridge to eat, besides which she wasn't hungry.

Korsak and Frost looked up as she entered and then looked at each other.

"Jane?" Korsak asked cautiously "how are things?"

"Fine. Where are we with David Laverne?"

"Jane really, this isn't necessary. Frost and I can deal with him".

Jane gave him a glare as if to say 'don't go there' as she sat down at her desk.

"Where are we?" she reiterated, more assertive this time.

Frost averted his gaze and returned to his paperwork. This was one fight he didn't want to get in the middle of.

"Jane, Cavanaugh told us to consider ourselves unemployed if we let you work on this"

Jane was up from her desk and at Cavanaugh's door before Korsak could say anything else.

"Come in".

Cavanaugh was sitting behind his desk and looked surprise when Jane walked in

"Jane what are you doing here?" Fear gripped him for a moment

"Is Angela…"

"She's fine. What the hell is this about me not being able to work the Laverne case?"

Cavanaugh felt his breath and wits return to him as he processed the fact Angela was okay. Now to deal with the most hot headed detective on his team.

"Jane he shot your mother, he shot your C.I. Hell he could have shot you if Frost hadn't stopped him. You can't work on the case. It's more than all our jobs are worth. Every bit of evidence you might pick up would be considered biased by your own personal involvement".

Jane opened her mouth to protest but Cavanaugh cut across her.

"No Rizzoli, absolutely, emphatically, totally and utterly not. You cannot work on this case"

Jane gritted her teeth and clenched her jaw to keep from screaming as she stormed out of Cavanaugh's office, slamming the door and rattling the glass in the process.

As she stood in the middle of the bullpen she felt completely powerless. The one thing she thought she could do was being taken away from her. She walked out without saying a word, unsure where she was going or what she was doing. This wasn't how this worked. She always knew what she was doing, even in a job where challenges were frequent, she had power, a plan and most importantly control most of the time. Now she was powerless.

She stood frozen to the spot as she watched the M.E. walk through the main door and into the reception area of the BPD.

Maura looked ill. She was pale, her hair was still slightly wet from the shower, her make-up was sparse and most startlingly her shoes didn't match her bag. Not something Jane would normally take a blind bit of notice of. But it was part of Maura's style bible that Jane had drummed in to her from very early in their friendship. There was definitely something wrong. And Jane knew what it was.

She wanted the ground to swallow her up. She wanted to be invisible. She wanted to rewind time. Logically her brain knew none of this was going to happen.

Jane saw Maura look up and straight through her with those beautiful eyes, dark circles underneath them. She noticed the scratch on Maura's right cheek and she wanted to ask what had happened. Maura was hurt and the fact she didn't know how she'd been hurt was killing her. It was only a little scrape, but it was Maura's beautiful face and she didn't know if someone had hurt her. She couldn't bear to think someone had hurt her. But she knew by the look in Maura's eyes that she wasn't in the mood to talk.

She merely nodded to Jane, which Jane returned and kept walking towards the elevators. Jane followed and put her foot in the door just as it was about to shut.

"Maura we need to talk"

"No we don't Jane"

"Maura please"

"No Jane, just no. Take your foot out of the door please or I'm going to be late"

Jane removed her foot and stepped back. Her heart broke as she watched the elevator door close and the numbers descend into the basement.

Once again the overwhelming feeling of having nothing to do or nowhere to go hit her. She knew there was only one other place she could be of use, not much but some. She got into her car and drove to Beth Israel. She took up her postion in the same chair outside her mother's room, looking in the window, zoning out of everything that was happening except the rise and fall of her mother's chest as the breath entered and exited her lungs.

Janice walked by 5 minutes later and looked at her watch. The detective had been gone 2 hours. She shook her head and continued to walk. She knew there was no point in telling Jane to go home. She looked worse now than she had when she left. Janice didn't know what had happened while she was away but Jane looked as if her world had collapsed.

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N The mistake that happened while Jane texting actually happened to me when typing so it seemed logical to put it in. Hence why it's in there! Please feel free to R&R. I'm open to all of it – I enjoy reading it all, good bad and ugly. It all helps!**

**Chapter 4**

Janice tapped Jane's shoulder and shook it gently when she got no response.

"Hmmm, what?"

"Jane, wake up"

"Maur?"

"Jane?"

Jane slowly came too and realised that she her muscles were in spasm again and her knee was cramped from having her leg bent under her on the chair.

"Jane its Janice"

"Sorry hey Janice". Jane became alert very suddenly "Ma, is she ok?" Her eyes darted straight to the window. The doctor was by Angela's bedside.

"She's okay Jane, they're just checking her out to see if they might lower the dose of sedative.

"Oh ok. Man did I fall asleep again?"

"Jane you've been here 10 hours, you've been out for 2. It's 8 p.m. Your brothers have both been and gone. They didn't want to wake you"

"Dammit, those jerks"

"Jane, sweetheart you haven't slept in days". Janice sat on the chair next to her in the waiting area. "There's nothing you can do here"

"There's nothing I can do anywhere"

"That's not true Jane. I know why you want to be here. Believe me, I've been doing this job 30 years; I know what goes through people's heads. Your Ma was very lucky. She got shot in the right place, literally and metaphorically speaking"

Jane's laugh was hollow "Yeah suppose that's true"  
"The doctor who was there – the M.E.?"

"Maura"

"Yes. She stemmed the blood flow. Her quick thinking and her call to the EMT's meant your mother suffered very little in the way of shock. This is what can be detrimental to anyone with a gunshot wound, the shut down of IV access makes our job so much harder She saved her."

Tears came to Jane's eyes as she remembered what she'd said to the woman who saved her mothers life.

"Oh honey I'm sorry". Janice put an arm around Jane's shoulder. "That was who you were looking for earlier when you woke up, Maur?"

Jane just nodded

"Do you want me to call her? Are you two together?"

Jane shook her head imperceptibly. So much so that Janice thought she nodded

"Oh sweetie why didn't you say. I could have called her to take you home hours ago. Richard never said you two were a couple"

"No, no we're not. Richard – who's Richard?" Jane looked at Janice's badge again, the unshed tears clearing from her eyes. Janice Hollis. She hadn't seen her second name earlier.

"Sargent Richard Hollis"

Janice nodded. "32 years married to a cop, I think I deserve an award"

Jane laughed, the first proper laugh Janice had heard. "Yeah you do"

"Listen Jane, Dr. James is going to be in there for a few more minutes. I'll get her to come to speak to you when she's finished and then I suggest you go home again. And this time stay for more than 2 hours please"

Jane smiled a weary smile at Janice and lowered her head. She didn't have the energy to argue. And what good was she anyway? She wasn't a doctor, she wasn't a cop right now and hell she wasn't even much of a daughter anymore.

"Dr. James?" Janice called to the doctor as she came out of Angela's room.

Kerry James saw the dishevelled detective and nodded to Janice. Janice gave the detectives shoulder one last squeeze and stood up, Kerry taking her seat. Janice headed to the nurses' desk to make a phone call.

"Your mum is doing well as can be expected Detective"

"Jane please"

"Ok Jane, Kerry. She held out her hand and Jane shook it. She's doing well Jane. I've lowered the dose of her sedative. It'll take some hours to work out of her system. I'd estimate she'll wake up mid-morning. Then it'll then depend on her pain level whether we need to sedate her again or whether she is comfortable enough. I'm sure Dr. Isles has explained all this to you already"

"Yeah she did" Jane lied.

"Ok well if you want to go home?"

"Seems everyone wants me out of here" Jane said with a slight edge to her voice

"No not at all. But you're not going to be any good to your Mum if you're too worn out to come and see her when she's actually conscious and aware you're around"

Jane hung her head. She wasn't angry. Just tired and unbelievably sore everywhere.

She apologised to Kerry for her sharp tone but she just waved her off with an "I'm used to it" nod of her head. Jane stood up and stretched. She bid farewell to the doctor and walked to the window of her mother's room. "Bye Ma".

She walked to her car forgetting it was night-time until she walked out into the cool night air, wrapping her jacket tightly around herself.

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Jane was out walking Jo when her phone vibrated and beeped that a message had come in. A picture of Maura pulling a funny face in the Dirty Robber on a night out filled her screen and her heart skipped a beat.

**Maura**: _Get some anti-inflammatory gel and rub it into your neck and shoulders._

Jane stared at her phone wondering what the hell Maura was talking about. Jo was pulling on her leash back towards the house, a sure indication that it was too cold even for her at this stage.

Jane removed her leash as they reached the door and the small dog ran to get her food. Jane sat down on the edge of the sofa and stared at her phone. The phone vibrated again.

**Maura: **_Or run a hot bath and put those bath salts I bought you for Christmas into it._

Jane threw herself back against the couch annoyed and tired. She forgot her sore muscles and her shoulders screamed out in pain as they hit the cushions.

**Jane:** _Maura what are you talking about?_

She waited ten minutes for a reply. When none came she texted back

**Jane:** _Maura?_

She stared at the phone willing it to make a sound but it didn't. She grabbed a tank top from the clothes in a heap on the chair in her bedroom, shrugged off her jacket, trousers and bra and left on her black briefs as she pulled on the blue tank and climbed under the rumpled sheets. Jo jumped up beside her and curled into her side. She didn't have the energy to put her out. As her eyes began to flutter closed, total exhaustion taking over her phone lit up on her nightstand.

**Maura:** _Janice rang me. _

Jane was annoyed at first. That woman had no business interfering. But she was so relieved to see Maura's name and picture pop up on the screen that relief and a sense that things could return to normal at some time in the future soon replaced annoyance.

**Jane: **_"Ok. Thanks. It's not too bad"_

Maura was sitting in bed staring at her phone a medical journal she was pretending to read in her lap. She was trying hard to ignore her phone. But her heart was ruling her head. When Janice had rung her at 8:10 p.m. explaining that she got her number from Detective Korsak via Richard, to say Jane had been at the hospital all day sitting in that chair watching her Ma, Maura knew instinctively that Jane would be in pain, much like she was every time she sat waiting to question a perp for hours as if the guy was going anywhere cuffed to a bed. Those chairs were not designed for anyone over 5ft 4in. Maura didn't like to think of Jane in any kind of pain. As she lay in bed in her silk pyjamas after a long soak in her Jacuzzi bath she knew that Jane wouldn't bother to look after herself right now and the sad reality hit her that apart from her family who were all concerned about Angela right now and her fellow cops, Jane really had no one to worry about her. She'd missed Jane today. It was the first time in as long as she could remember that she'd gone a whole day without seeing her and she felt empty. She read the text again and flicked her fingers over the buttons contemplating what to write. She knew that 'not too bad' in Jane speak meant she was in a lot of pain.

**Maura:** _Have you got any painkillers? _

**Jane:** _No, I don't generally take them, you told me not to. _

**Maura:**_ I've told you on many occasions they don't work, especially for headaches. But anti-inflammatories are different and they are the only thing that will reduce the pain in your neck, shoulders and back right now. _

A smile ghosted across Jane's lips as she pulled the sheets and comforter up around her – Jo whining in protest as she disturbed the warm spot she just created for herself. She lay down on her stomach to take the pressure off her back and texted back, glad that even if it was just small talk Maura was at least talking, well texting.

Maura looked at the picture that popped up on her screen with the message of Jane sitting on her couch in her Red Sox Hoodie and Stonewashed Jeans, hair tied back, sun streaming in from the window to her right leaning to try and get out of the shot and trying to get her hand to cover her face in time before Maura took the photo but failing as she laughed out loud. Maura played the moment over in her head remembering how she'd wanted to capture that moment for posterity because of how happy and relaxed the detective looked. She opened the text

**Jane:** _what you doing?_

**Maura:** _What am I doing? I'm in bed reading. Correction I was reading. Now I'm texting you. _

**Jane:** _what you reading?_

**Maura?** _What am I reading? BMJ._

**Jane:** _Snore xxxxx_

Maura was confused as she stared at the text. She was afraid she'd missed the mark again, but was certain that xxxx were kisses as she'd seen them signed on various Valentine's cards she'd received from secret admirers.

**Maura:** _What? I don't generally kiss in my sleep._

Jane scrolled back up. She realised she'd hit the x as opposed to the z button on her screen.

**Jane:** _I meant snore zzzzz – sorry._

Maura smiled as she pictured Jane admonishing herself. At that exact moment Jane was slapping herself in the side of the head.

**Jane:** _Maur?_

**Maura:** _Yes Jane?_

**Jane:** _Are we ok?_

**Maura:** _Well I am quite relaxed. You are in an amount of pain. So depending on your definition of okay yes I am but you may not be. It depends on your pain threshold. I would say yours is quite high after shooting yourself but then I saw you with a thorn in your foot whining like a baby so I can't really be sure. _

Jane rolled her eyes. She was feeling the exhaustion catching up with her as she texted back

**Jane:** _Ok I'm gona take that as a your ok, I'm ok and we still need to talk_

Maura texted back straight away

**Maura:** _Yes we do_

Jane groaned into her pillow. This was not a conversation she was looking forward to her.

**Jane:** _Night Maur_

Her finger hovered over the x button not sure what to do. She placed an x at the end of the text. It wasn't a usual occurrence in either of their texts but Jane didn't want this talk they needed to have to be the last thing Maura thought of as they signed off for the night.

She smiled again as she picked up the phone and looked at Maura's picture as she opened the message

**Maura:** Night Jane x

She smiled into the darkness at the kiss at the end of the text as she put her phone on the nightstand after her setting her alarm for 8 to make sure she was there for when her Ma came round. Maybe things would be ok.

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…**. A/N Or maybe not – I can't really decide how mean I want to be with this! I've been told Jane doesn't deserve forgiveness to quickly but I just love writing her with Maura it's hard when they're apart! We'll see what happens. It's all them – trust me, when I start writing, they take over. I don't have a say! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The Rizzoli kids sat outside their mother's room waiting for Kerry James to come out and give them an update. Kerry had rung Jane at 9 to see where she was. She wasn't in the least bit surprised when she told her she was down in the cafeteria of Beth Israel getting coffee – it was marginally better than the stuff in the machines.

Tommy was opening and closing the clasp on his watch repeatedly and Frankie was glaring at him – if looks could kill Frankie's would have killed Tommy in seconds.

Jane's thoughts were wandering between the what it's, the what now's and the irrational thought that she'd actually take up ballet again if her Ma came through this. The most loathed thing she was ever made do as a kid by her mother, she'd happily take it up again even if she looked stupid in a tutu if God and all his angels just let her come through this okay.

The door opened and all 3 of them were on their feet.

Kerry had a blank look on her face. Jane hated that about most doctors, you could tell nothing by their expression. Not Maura, she could read Maura like a book. She tried to supress her thoughts of Maura but her heart ached as soon as she saw her in her minds eye. She focused when Kerry started to talk but she was still thinking about Maura. Having her in mind comforted her and she was sure she was going to need it right now.

"She's doing ok guys. Sedative is out of her system and she's conscious. She's in a bit of pain, her head particularly so we're going to do another CT to make sure we haven't missed anything. But she's coherent and the pain can be managed with medication. So overall she's on the right road?"

She was about to ask if anyone had any questions but thought better of it, she had other patients to see and she knew she'd be there all day.

"She's still groggy so when you go in take it easy ok"

Frankie and Tommy were at the door when they realised Jane wasn't with them

"Janie?" Frankie inquired.

"You guys go on it, I'll be in in minute"

Kerry looked at Jane and contemplated a chat, but she was only at the start of rounds. No doubt their paths would cross again.

Jane's head was spinning as she sat down in the chairs she'd spent the last two days sleeping on. She was going to be ok? Did she hear Kerry right? She was going to be ok? No she'd been shot. She couldn't be, could she? Jane's brain was in overdrive. She felt sick and elated and worried and confused all at once. It was overwhelming.

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A few minutes later Tommy popped his head out the door and called "Janie come on she's awake, she's asking for you".

Jane scrubbed her face with her hands and shook her shoulders out. She stood up and walked into the room. She looked at the bed where her mother lay slightly higher up in the bed now the bed head elevated.

Frankie and Tommy had a hand each so Jane stood at the bottom of the bed.

"Janie sweetheart come here?" Angela raised her hand weakly and shooshed the boys away; both were slow to move.

Jane moved around the side of the bed and took her mother's outreached hand. Angela's grasp was weak. "I know my girl doesn't do hugs, but I could sure use one right now"

Jane leaned in slowly, tentatively; afraid she was going to hurt her.

She pulled back almost as fast as she leaned in.

"Janie?" Angela looked at her startled.

"I have to go Ma."

All three of them shouted her name as she walked out the door and walked at speed to her car.

She was at the doors to BPD in half an hour staring at the numbers 1854 over the door. The message had come through this morning from Cavanaugh to take a week, no negotiation. She was debating whether or not to go in and cause hassle about it when a voice cut across her thoughts. Stanley was walking out of the main entrance and spotted her.

His usual look of disdain wasn't present.

"Detective – I, eh, how's Angela?"

"She's ok"

"Well done for catching the son of a bitch"

"You can thank Detective Frost"

Jane turned on her heels and left.

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Maura was staring at the paintings on her office walls. She had spent so much money on them and in this moment she couldn't see the point in them at all.

There was a file open on her desk and a pile of files stacked high beside them. Some just needed her signature others needed to be read. But Maura had been reading this one for half an hour and she still didn't know what it was about.

There was a knock on her office door and she looked up to see Detective Korsak.

"Come In"

Korsak opened the door. "Bad time Doc?"

"No Detective Korsak. It's fine come in, please have a seat"

It was rare if ever Korsak ventured into the corridors of the morgue on his own but he was on a mission and it was one he was intent on fulfilling. He sat in one of the most uncomfortable chairs he'd ever sat in in his life and starred at the doctor, his hands clasped. He cleared his throat not really sure how he was going to start this.

"Doctor Isles"

"Detective I really do think it's time for you to call me Maura"

"Maura. Ok Maura, listen I know this is none of my business and trust me, keeping my nose out is something I've become adept at. But Jane…" He realised Maura was looking straight through him and only snapped to attention when he said her name.

"Yes Detective?" The ire in her voice was hard to hide.

"Jane is going through hell Maura. I've seen her twice and she looks worse than when Hoyt got at her. She isn't herself doc, eh, Maura. She's lost. Cavanaugh has signed her off, effective immediately; she got the message this morning. She came in here fuming yesterday, trying to sort the Laverne thing one handed. He decided she needed a vacation. Frankie texted Frost earlier. Jane ran out of the hospital two minutes after her Ma came round. Given she's practically slept there the last two days don't you find that a bit odd?"

"I couldn't comment on Jane's behaviour Detective Korsak, I'm not sure I know her very well anymore"  
Vince frowned "Maura you're her best friend, you know Janie better than any of us"

"I'm afraid that's not the case anymore"

"Look Maura whatever has happened and remember we've seen you two fall out bad before". Maura resisted the urge to correct his grammar

"You came through that. You two are like yin and yang, you just know each other inside out."

"We did"  
"No you do. Listen I don't know what went on but now more than ever Jane needs a friend; no she needs you. She's not herself Maura; I'm worried about her, worried she might do something silly"

Maura's eyes widened. "Vince are you saying you think Jane might harm herself?" Maura was on her feet and half way to the door before she got a quiet "Yes" in answer.

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**A/N My note for any trigger that might happen as a result of the mention of harm links to Irish/English site – . Believe me I know. If you need help try these guys or The Samaritans. They're both hugely supportive. And it does get better – hand on heart I promise! **

**A/N 2: I'm that much of a sucker for getting these two back together it's gona happen a bit sooner than I anticipated – in fact most of it is written so maybe later today or tomorrow. This one is a bit close to home – as in, been there had something similar happen. So I'll hope Jane and Maura don't play out the same way my story did – they'll tell me themselves! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The pounding on the door caused Jane to jump. She contemplated ignoring it. She figured it was Frankie or Tommy coming to bawl her out about leaving the hospital. She had turned off her phone, locked her door and taken the house phone off the hook. 6 empty bottles of beer and a half eaten Indian take-away lay on the table. The pounding continued. The noise was going through her head. Then she heard a key in the lock.

Maura had fought the urge to call out her name because she hoped Jane would answer on her own so she didn't have to force her way in. They weren't on the best terms and her key was for emergencies and although right now her heart was beating out of her chest in fear that she was going to find Jane unconscious or worse, this wasn't an emergency. She was worried Jane would think she was interfering.

When she walked in and saw Jane sitting on the sofa Maura burst into tears.

Jane was on her feet in seconds, tears filling her eyes as her arms wrapped around the M.E's shoulders.

They held on to each other tightly and Maura walked them slowly backwards to the couch. As they sat down Maura stayed wrapped in Jane's arms but scanned the table for any sign that Jane was a danger to herself. She saw nothing and clung tighter to Jane. The thought she was going to lose her almost caused Maura to crash the car more than once on the way over. She was sure she'd broken at least 10 traffic laws, but she didn't care. She just had to see Jane. The pain that Jane had caused was nothing compared to the panic that Maura felt when she saw the look in Korsak's eyes. She knew losing Jane would just be the worst pain imaginable.

As she felt Jane untangle herself out of her arms Maura sat side on facing the taller detective, who was still quivering slightly. All the emotions of the last few days seemed to have flooded out in that hug which she'd refused for so long and those tears slowing up slightly that now Jane was showing signs of a huge range of a emotions mixed together, all coming out in one go. And Maura knew from experience that all she could do was sit with Jane, hold her hand and talk her through it.

"That bullet was meant for me Maura. How could I have ducked and let Ma be shot? She was only doing what any parent would do and reacting to a dangerous situation her child was about to put themselves in" The tears began to fall again, and were soaking her t-shirt and hair which was hanging in her face. Maura's hand was still on her back from the hug rubbing soothing circles helping her to breathe. But Jane felt like a failure and it wasn't going to be as easy as some comforting words and looks from Maura to get through this. She felt like everything she'd ever known, family, work, friends; she'd betrayed all of them. She let her Ma get shot, she didn't use her training properly to assess the situation and she most certainly let Frost and Rondo down by not making herself known earlier. And ultimately once she knew her mother would be ok, she was still in desperate despair because all she could think about was how much she'd hurt Maura that night in the car park. As if she knew what Jane was thinking Maura put her hand under Jane's chin and lifted it, tears soaking her hand. She turned Jane's head gently to look at her.

"Jane, you cannot blame yourself for this. The only person to blame in all of this is David Laverne. He walked into a public space, armed and intent on hurting someone and that someone was you. You cannot continue to punish yourself with what ifs. What ifs will kill you. You know how much I loathe what ifs"

"But Maura I brought that man to our department. The same way I brought you into Hoyt's path, I brought that psycho into our building. And just like Hoyt, I didn't get hurt badly" She rubbed the scars on her hand, her anxiousness hard to hide. They were her reminder of him, but she didn't consider them serious. "You got hurt, Ma got hurt and Rondo got hurt. And as for what I said to you, I hate myself every minute for that. What does that all say about me? I'll tell you what it says Maura. It says I'm a coward, a waste of space, an awful daughter and friend and a terrible cop".

Jane pulled away from Maura, got up off the couch and headed for the kitchen to get a beer. She wasn't in the mood to talk or cry anymore. She was in the mood to get very drunk.

She got to the fridge her tears almost dry again when she felt Maura's hand grab her wrist. "No, Jane, more alcohol is not going to help this"

"Really, well I sure as hell can't think of anything else that is, can you?"

Jane's tone was so low and defeated that Maura's heart broke. As Jane leaned back into the fridge for support she slid down to the floor as the tears returned. Maura knelt down beside her and pulled Jane into her lap. Jane curled into her; her head buried in Maura's hair her tears soaking her neck, her body wracked with sobs. Maura was panicking internally. She didn't know how to do this, how to deal with human emotion, and especially not this human. Not Jane, not her port in a storm.

She whispered soft reassuring words into her ear "it's ok", "I've got you", "let it out". But none of it was enough. None of it stopped the shaking and sobbing of the woman in her arms. So Maura did something she'd never done before she leaned in and brought her lips to Jane's tear soaked face, kissing from under her ear, up along her cheek, to the edge of her mouth and eventually to her lips where she kissed her gently for a number of seconds. Jane lifted her head and looked into the trusting concerned eyes watching her. She took a deep breath to regain her composure and get some air into her lungs, which were stinging from crying.

"I'm sorry" Maura spoke quietly as she shook her head. "I shouldn't have…"

The detective kissed her back, gripping the back of Maura's neck as if her life depended on it.

Jane knelt up pulling the ME up with her, as she continued the kiss. She'd told herself that she didn't matter anymore. She wasn't entitled to anything. Her job was to protect everyone she loved – to give instead of take. But as Maura pulled them up to stand and pulled away to look deep into her eyes Jane knew that she could protect Maura and still love her. She wanted to take nothing – just to give, give her all the love she was capable of giving.

Maura bit her lip, as she looked down at the floor unsure of whether taking advantage of Jane in such a vulnerable state was a honourable thing to do. When she looked back up her question was answered by a gentle kiss from the detective. The butterflies in her tummy quietened as she felt long arms snake around her waist and hold her firmly in place. Slipping her lips away she curled her body into the slender form in front of her and held her tightly as Jane let go of the rest of her demons. This time as she whispered into her ear she wasn't telling Jane she'd be ok she was telling her they'd be ok. Her gentle whisper of 'we'll get through this' caused Jane to hold on tighter and kiss her neck gently, not wanting to ever break the contact they had right now.

She felt Maura move against her side to place a gentle kiss on her temple and whisper into her ear "I love you Jane Rizzoli. I always have and I always will"

Another round of tears threatened as Jane heard those words but she held them back instead leaning into the ME and whispering "I love you too Maur"

Jane felt Maura's form physically relax in her arms and she pulled back to look at her. "Were you afraid I wasn't going to say it back?"

Maura nodded and followed it up with a weak "Yes"

"Oh Maur, how could I not love you? You are like the other half of me – you know all that nonsense the Romans talked about about finding the other half of yourself?"

Maura looked at her with that usual quirk of the eyebrow that drove Jane mad – the one that questioned her intelligence. But Jane knew now it wasn't condescending, it was surprise. Maura wasn't being smart she was genuinely impressed.

"What Maura, I read, it's kinda essential for my job that I know how. Anyway going back to my attempt at being romantic – you are that other half. You are the other half of me. I know who knew I had this soppy crap in me, but it seems you bring out the worst in me"

Maura slapped her playfully on the arm.

"Jane that is really beautiful. Thank you. It was actually the Greeks who spoke about it but it's still beautiful nonetheless"

Maura felt her slap returned and she didn't realise why at first, but smiled as it dawned on her "I'm doing it again aren't I – Google-mouthing?"

"Yeah just a bit Doctor Smartypants"

"Well you know Jane you now have in your possession a quite effective way to shut me up?"

Jane leaned in to kiss Maura again. The kiss had the desired affect and Jane surmised "I seem to and it's not one I plan on sharing with anyone any time soon". They laughed and Jane reached out to pull Maura against her again.

"Can you stay the night?" Jane didn't want to be on her own right now and feeling Maura's arms wrapped around her, she wasn't sure she could ever be on her own again.

"I can, but we still need to talk too. My adrenaline got me here. I was terrified you…" her voice trailed off and she looked away.

"What? Maura, look at me what?"  
"Detective Korsak was worried. He thought you weren't coping. He came to me". Maura was still looking anywhere but at Jane.

"You were worried? Worried about what?"  
"We were worried, well Detective Korsak was worried, I wasn't concerned, I don't guess at thoughts and emotions and actions…"

"Maur you're rambling again"

"Sorry. Detective Korsak was concerned that you weren't coping very well and he thought you might be a danger to yourself. So he came to me. And well here I am"

Jane started to get angry. Her usual reaction to a statement like this would be 'what kind of wuss do you think I am?'. But right now she realised that she had been slipping into a depression and she had been low. Not suicidal but low enough to know if she'd seen someone like her walking around she'd be concerned too.

"I'm ok Maur, I'm ok now I know we're ok. Once I heard Ma was alright the only thing I could think was 'God I wish I could tell Maura'. I picked up my phone to text you but I just didn't know what to say"

"Jane I knew Angela would be fine, I've been ringing for hourly updates"

Jane smiled "Of course you have"

"Kerry was very accommodating. She knew we were close"

"Huh, same way Janice thought we were close I'm guessing?"  
"Janice?"  
"Yeah she thought you and me were dating"

"You and I"

"Really, Maura?"  
"Sorry. She thought you and I were dating?"  
"Yeah. I said we weren't but now I think back on it she didn't seem convinced"

"Hmm, maybe she knew something we didn't"  
"Maybe"

"Right Detective I don't know about you but I've had an awful day and I need some sleep"

"Ditto"  
Maura took Jane's hand and intertwined their fingers, walking them to Jane's room trying her best to ignore the bombsite that greeted her as she opened Jane's room door.

"I don't suppose there's anything clean I can wear to bed in amongst all of this?" she swept her arm across the room.  
Jane cast a glance around "Uh…"

"It's ok I can manage, I'm wearing a camisole under this dress anyway. If you have some of those hideous garments you call underwear nearby I'll have something to wear. Maura rooted in Jane's top drawer and found a pair of black boy shorts, which she slipped on after she took the silk purple ones she had on off.

Jane stood mesmerised looking at her best friend "You're wearing underwear to bed?"  
"Well there's nothing else clean and besides it's not as if we're doing anything other than sleeping right now. I don't have the energy and you don't have the stamina for me to do what I want to do"

Jane's eyes widened as her heart began to beat faster. She stammered slightly "Whha..at..t"

"You heard me. First we have to talk and you owe me one long ass apology detective"

Did Maura just swear? Jane was pretty sure she was losing her mind. Maura Isles was in her underwear – half of it was actually literally _her _underwear, in Jane's bed, swearing and talking about sex.

"Uh I think I'll sleep on the couch"  
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli I rarely swear twice in one day, and very rarely using the same profanity, but get your ass into this bed right now"

Jane didn't feel like she had a choice, her body was responding for her as she shed the sweats she was wearing and climbed under the sheet that covered Maura.

Jane hadn't slept properly in days and when she felt Maura slide across to her and wrap her arms around her waist, resting her forehead against hers and kissing her gently on the lips, she knew Maura was right, sleeping was all either of them was good for right now.

She curled herself right into Maura so she could smell everything that was quintessentially Maura. She felt the lips on hers pull back and the ME took Jane's head, cushioning it on her shoulder as she whispered into her ear "we'll get through this, I love you"

She whispered back "I love you too Maur".

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**A/N once again if any of this has upset you or affected you contact your local Samaritans. I've no numbers for the U.S. but the one here in Ireland is 1850 60 90 90 or look at the website I've posted in the description for the story. **

**A/N As I said I'm kind of a sucker for getting these two back together. But that talk and a few more bits and pieces will get in the way before they get the happy ending – if they get the happy ending – they'll tell me whether they do or not!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry this has taken so long but I got a temporary job which means I'm spending my day on the computer which means spending my nights on it hasn't been high up there. But I want to get back to writing this cause I want to see where it's going! This is going to be shorter than normal because it's 1 a.m. here and I have to work tomorrow. But I promise first chance I get I'll write something longer. I've a feeling there are 2-3 more chapters left to go!**

**Chapter 7**

The sun was streaming in through the blinds in Jane's apartment when she awoke. She felt arms around her waist and soft breath against her neck. Sometime in the night they'd shifted positions so that Maura was now in Jane's arms, hair splayed everywhere, her camisole riding up under her breasts the pale skin of her stomach exposed and still wearing Jane's black underwear, which Jane realised, really wasn't that attractive – that was unless Maura was wearing it.

She felt the blonde squirm gently in her arms and exhale slowly on her neck the warm breath causing a shiver to race down Jane's spine. The shiver in turn caused Maura to stir and wake up.

"Oh sshhh Maur go back to sleep"

"Hmm, you ok, you were shivering"

"I'm fine, go back to sleep"  
"No once I'm awake I have to get up. Waking up is your bodies way of telling you it's time to get up"  
"Maur it's 6 a.m. Go back to sleep for half an hour"

"It is pointless to sleep for half an hour Jane. Your body gets nothing from it."

Jane groaned. She knew Maura's morning routine and she forgot how much she hated it until that moment.

"If you wake at 2:30 a.m. you don't get up"

"Yes but that's not practical Jane. And in fact in college I did just that. The night shift security man Jack and I were great friends"

"Of course you were" Jane laughed at all the quirks that made up Maura Isles as she looked into her hazel eyes with flecks of green and gold. She leaned in and kissed her soundly on the lips, moaning gently as Maura pulled her tighter against her. She felt Maura's hand move lower to massage her taut stomach abs and as it moved further down to her stomach Jane grabbed her wrist.

"Don't Maura, don't. I have dreamed about this, fantasised about this, daydreamed about this well you get the picture. So you need to move your hand now or I'm not going to be held responsible for us not getting out of this bed. And Ma is getting out today so we need to be at the hospital. In three hours admittedly but I wouldn't let you out of bed after only three hours"

"Detective you seem to think that was leading somewhere when it fact it was going to be used as a method of torture. I may not know much about social cues but trust me there is one thing I know about and that's sex"

Jane shuddered at the sound of that word falling from Maura's mouth. Even the way she said it made Jane aroused.

"I was simply going to torture you slightly and then get up. I know how well sexual frustration can be used to tease and taunt and get what one wants"

Jane's mouth was hanging open at this point.

Maura looked at Jane as if she hadn't just said she was going to use sex as a weapon on her best friend.

"What Detective? Psychology was part of my medical training. A part I found fascinating, as you well know. But it wasn't all about abnormal behaviours. So close your mouth and go make some coffee. We need to make a list for the day and that list involves getting your mother home and settled tending to Rondo's wounds because I know he tells me he's keeping them clean. However, the words clean and living on the streets don't go together. And then having a very long conversation about you and I and what exactly is going on"

Jane threw her hands over her face and moaned. "That's too much for one day"

"Tough. I'm playing hard to get on this one"  
Jane did her normal run through on the colloquialisms that Maura usually got wrong – her mental list was extensive.

"You mean hard ball Maur"

Maura leaned in and put her hand on Jane's right breast and squeezed it softly as she plunged her tongue into her mouth. She pulled back after a few seconds and winked "No hard to get Detective. Now I'm going for a shower and you are going to make breakfast"

Maura hopped out of the bed and was swiftly rid of her clothes in ten seconds. Jane lay on the bed, her mouth wide open for the second time that morning as she watched Maura's naked form walk out of the room. Her ability to think was gone down the corridor with Maura. She had to take a minute to settle the butterflies in her stomach and her jelly legs before she got up.

She spoke to herself as she walked to the kitchen trying to tick off what they had just spoken about. Unfortunately none of it came back. Just the vision of Maura naked.

"List" Jane finally said in triumph. "I have to make a list of things to do today". She only realised when Maura walked out of the shower and into the kitchen in a short blue towel how much she was going to need that list because today the only thing her mind could accommodate was a naked Maura Isles, gleaming and covered in droplets from the shower and the water dripping from her golden hair. She kissed Jane's cheek as she began to make the coffee Jane had forgotten about.

"Man I'm trouble" Jane muttered quietly to herself.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Time for the talk… Oh Lord the angsty stuff kills me. But they made me write it so here it goes. There are a few bits about Maura's family in here that if you haven't got to the end of Season 3 you may not know. So just know that and enjoy – hopefully! **

**Chapter 8**

Angela was talking non-stop as Maura drove them back to her house. The pain meds they had put Angela on had the added side effect of making Angela more animated which meant that she was on the verge of hyper as she recounted stories of the cute doctors Maura and Jane should date and how she could help the kitchen improve their, in her words "God awful food".

Maura snuck a side ways glance at Jane who was laughing quietly to herself with her hand to her mouth, shaking her head slightly. She was glad to see Jane had relaxed. When they got to the hospital Jane had questioned Kerry relentlessly about her mothers recovery; was she sure she was well enough to leave, what medication she needed, did she need dressings changed, did she need to take any other medication or was there anything she shouldn't take that would interfere with her meds. Eventually Kerry held up her hand, smiled politely, pointed to Maura and walked away.

Maura couldn't help but giggle.

Jane turned to look at Kerry as she walked away "What the…?"  
"Jane she made a very valid point"

"What, this?" Jane held up her hand and pointed at Maura. "That was just rude"

"Jane your mother is going to be staying in my house, in the main house, not even the guest house, so I can keep an eye on her. Kerry wasn't being rude she was merely pointing out the blatantly obvious. She's busy and you have a doctor at you beck and call" She squeezed Jane's hand which was hanging by her side to reassure her.

"Angela is absolutely fine. In fact she's been here longer than needed. Probably something to do with Janice and Kerry knowing you'd make their lives a living hell if she weren't. So just take a breath and relax".

Jane squeezed Maura's hand tight and kissed her quickly once she'd done a quick scout to see the corridor was momentarily empty. Not quite quickly enough for Kerry to miss it as she walked out of the next patient's room. She felt a quick pang of sorrow that they were together. She had fleetingly thought on two or more like a dozen times in the last week about asking Maura for dinner. 'Oh well you snooze you lose' she thought to herself as she lifted her pager to see a 911 from the Emergency Room. She ran down the corridor.

"Thank You Maur"

"There's no need to thank me Jane. Now let's get everything together and go home"

'Home' Jane thought to herself. It was really home.

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They stopped for five minutes near a local deli on their way home to tend to Rondo. They left the car in their line of sight with the window open partially in case Angela needed them.

Jane called out to Rondo as she spotted him in the alley but his usual smart come back wasn't there. He looked up as Jane and Maura approached and appeared to recede into himself.

"Rondo. How are you?" Maura asked gently

"I'm doing ok thanks Doc. He nodded towards Jane "Detective"

Jane was taken aback at the formal title he addressed her by. "How is your mother?"

"Ma's in the car Rondo. She's doing ok. What's up?"  
"Nothin', all good here"

"Rondo don't try and kid a kidder, come on"

"I, Vanilla, I'm so sorry. Laverne's is a psycho. He saw us talking and thought I was ratting him out over a drug deal that went bad where he ended up shooting some guy. I told those other two detectives so hopefully they'll lock that son of a bitch up for a long time. But Mrs. Vanilla, she should never have got caught up in this. She's a good woman, feeds me when I need it, fixed a hole in my hat is good to the kids. I can't say sorry enough"

In all of his rambling however all Jane heard was Laverne had seen them together and that's why he'd taken Rondo hostage.

"Rondo I'm so sorry"  
He looked at Jane as if she had two heads, "You been smoking something whacky Detective? Your Ma got shot"

"Yeah but so did you and it's my fault"

As they spoke Maura had put her bag down and was tending to the wound on Rondo's arm. Fortunately the bullet had missed the vital muscles and went completely through so the wound just needed to be re-dressed every few days. Maura had been doing it regularly and making sure Rondo had somewhere safe to sleep so he didn't pick up an infection.

"Vanilla ain't none of this your fault. Laverne is totally doolally, I mean totally smack you in the side of the head call you Jersey crazy"

Maura smiled "Thank You Rondo, I've told Detective Rizzoli all of this already but she won't listen to me. Maybe she'll listen to you?"

"Vanilla listen to the Doc. She's smart. She knows she sh… her stuff" Jane smiled as Rondo tried to retain his manners in Maura's presence. Unfortunately he didn't reserve the same courtesy for her but in reality she actually liked his frankness.

"Rondo I didn't mean for this to happen"  
"Of course you didn't. Only one that meant this to happen was Laverne. He needs locking up for a long time"

"I'll see that happens Rondo, I promise"

"That seems to be clean and healing well Rondo" Maura said as she secured the final strip to secure the bandage" She handed him $40 and said "eat something nutritious and find a room for the next few nights in that shelter". I'll see you in a few days, same time, same place.

Jane was amazed at the tenderness Maura was displaying. She imagined five years ago if a homeless man had approached her she would have thrown money at him, not checking how much and kept walking, not being ignorant just out of fright. This job had taught Maura that besides the dead there were a few humans in this world that weren't as scary as they first appeared.

As they bid him a good day and turned to leave Rondo hollered after them;

"Hey Vanilla, remember what I said, listen to the Doc"

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Angela was settled on the couch wrapped in a throw, eating soup. She was still talking but Jane and Maura had long since given up listening. They realised if they made some encouraging noises Angela was happy. She barely drew breath long enough to notice they weren't listening.

They were sitting at the breakfast bar eating a salad or as Jane called it "rabbit food".

"I forgot how much she talks. Did Kerry give you sleeping tablets as well?"  
"Yes she did, but they're to be used only in emergencies"

"This is an emergency Maura. I can't take any more of her talk about Dr. May or Dr. Clarkson, who by the way I've met already after I was shot. And they're very happy together."

Maura looked on amused as Angela got up to bring her bowl into the kitchen.

"That was lovely Maura. Thank You. I will have to get the recipe from you some time"  
"Of course Angela"  
"Girls I'm tired, I think I'm gona go lie down"

"I've moved some of your things in from the guest house Angela, they're in the spare room. Stay as long as you need"

"Thank You Maura"

Jane walked her Ma down to the room and waited until she was settled to return to Maura.

When she came back Maura was laying on the sofa her knees bent, reading a medical journal article on her tablet. There was just enough room to sit at the other end of the sofa. Jane sat down and ran her hands through her unruly curls.

"Is Angela ok?"  
"Yeah she's fine. Passed out when her head hit the pillow"

"You've been gone twenty minutes"  
"I had to make sure she was ok, you know breathing and stuff".

Maura put her tablet on the table and sat up moving towards Jane and putting a hand on her knee

"She's going to be fine Jane"  
"I know, I know, but I just can't…"

"Jane Rizzoli I've known you long enough to know that when you stop talking and wander off into your own little world in your head you're thinking all the things that we're not saying. Not because we don't want to say them but because we know they're not true. You are not to blame for this".

"Actually since Korsak and Frost caught Laverne last night and charged him with two counts of assault with a deadly weapon I've been going easier on myself about that. And since seeing Rondo and knowing he's ok I feel better about him"

"So what is it?"  
"What I said to you that night… I … Jesus Maura I…" The tears were already in her eyes.

"Jane my reaction that night wasn't quite fair but I'm not making excuses for you. What you said hurt me deeply"

"Maur, I can't"

Maura cut across her "No Jane you need to let me get this out in one go or I'm going to back down and never say it again"

Jane nodded, tears still in her eyes.

"When people talk about my family it makes my heart break. It makes me think about my Mother and Father, about Paddy and Hope about Colin and Cailin and you know how much I suck at emotions. I look at your family. I look at how you grew up, all those photos Angela has. And then I think about my childhood. Please don't get me wrong. I had a good childhood. Materially I had all a child could ever want. But emotionally I had very little. My closest relationships were with our local librarian and an elderly woman who used to like to tell me about her childhood living in Serbia. It's where I learned some of my Serbian.

Jane's shifted slightly and took Maura's hands in hers as she continued speaking.

"Constance is a good woman. She taught me so much. But I always wondered about my birth mother. Meeting Hope, well, it wasn't what I thought it would be. Meeting Paddy was the same. Probably because they both came with siblings I knew nothing about and in Colin's case didn't get to know anything about. Cailin, well, she didn't want to know me. So it's hard to know what kind of big sister I would have made"  
"You would have been amazing" Jane whispered quietly.

Maura heard her but she had to finish; "Your family became the family I always wished I had. And I hadn't realised I became so invested in the whole thing until I was sitting in the hospital waiting for news of Angela feeling exactly the same way I did when Paddy was shot. You Frankie, Tommy, TJ, Angela you've become my family. And when you reminded me that my family was so dysfunctional my insecurities about being just like Paddy came flooding back. And instantly I thought about how if I was that person, I could never be good enough to be a Rizzoli"

Maura began to cry as she spoke the last few words. Jane pulled her into a bone crushing hug and said quietly into her ear "Maura you're a better Rizzoli than me"

Maura pulled back reluctantly because she was enjoying the heat that was radiating from Jane's body. She felt cold even though the sun was shining through the curtains.

"Jane you have got to stop berating yourself. You are a Rizzoli; you are the epitome of everything that defines the name. And beating yourself up for doing what you were trained to do when in danger is not going to stop you being a Rizzoli. What will stop you being a Rizzoli is continuing to blame yourself for this. Rizzoli's are strong and smart and funny. You are all of those. And no one judges you; no one blames you for what happened except you. Do you remember what Rondo said?

"To listen to you?"  
"Yes, so are you listening?"  
Jane nodded

"You and I, we have had some horrible things to deal with in our personal lives. But our job brings us into contact with real evil every day. And luckily, apart from Paddy in his past life, our families don't constitute real evil. And the safety I have with you and your family means the world to me. I know you were in shock and I know your ability to reign in your emotions only happens after you've spoken them out loud. So no more beating yourself up. We're not talking about this anymore. It happened and it's over. Just know if you ever get me so upset that I sleep in a Marc Jacob's dress I bought in London five years ago and waited five years to wear so it'd be almost as rare as a four leaf clover in a corn field then I will have to kill you"

Jane laughed at Maura's insane and totally out of whack analogy as she wrapped her in another bear hug.

"I'm sorry"

"No more sorry's Jane, this is the end of it. You know what happened, I know what happened, we know nothing was meant and that's it. Jane you're going to have to let go, I can't really breathe anymore"

Jane loosened her grip on her best friend and kissed her gently on her temple as she leaned back.

"We're ok?"  
"We're ok"  
"I love you. Oh crap did I just say that out loud? Crap, dam, crap"  
"Jane" Maura had to raise her voice as she called her name again "Jane!"  
Jane stopped muttering to herself.

"It's ok. Another great example of your inability to reign in your emotions; I should really do some kind of psychological profile of you"

Jane pulled a face and Maura shoved her back against the couch. She leaned in and kissed Jane gently climbing into her lap. "I love you too Jane. And later I'll show you just how much" Jane moaned into Maura's neck.

They heard the door of the spare room open and Jane jumped up as if she had been electrocuted.

"Breathe, Jane, breathe" Maura laughed as Jane bolted off the couch and ran to the sink pretending to wash the dishes.

Maura picked up her tablet and resumed reading.

"Sorry girls, seems I only needed a quick nap"

"Hey Ma. What do you want for dinner?"

"What's on the menu"  
"Take-Out"  
Maura laughed from the couch. "I'll cook Angela"

She joined them in the kitchen and Maura and Angela went through recipes listing off ingredients Jane didn't even know existed. Dinner was going to be fun.

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	9. Chapter 9

**I totally forgot I did the 'I love you' bit twice. My apologies but I wrote the two bits three months apart and missed it. Plus I get silly like a schoolgirl when these two say 'I love you' to each other. Please let me know if you think anything could be better – thanks! **

**Chapter 9**

A few days staying with her mother in Maura's and Jane was climbing the walls. She was finally reassured that Angela was absolutely fine when she started talking anew about those nice Doctor's Jane and Maura should date. Maura shot Jane a jealous look over breakfast when Angela started on about them again that morning causing Jane to nearly choke on her muesli – Maura's breakfast choice not Jane's. She loved the glint of possession that flashed in Maura's eyes.

"Jane are you ok?" Angela asked panicked.

"I'm fine Ma, just went down the wrong way"

Maura walked around the breakfast island and put her hand on Jane's back.

"Are you sure you're ok Jane? You look pale" Maura said as she stroked her hand slowly up and down Jane's back. Jane was having trouble breathing let alone concentrating. All she could feel was the line of heat emanating from Maura's palm as she touched her. But she managed a muffled "fine" and Maura moved back to her seat.

They hadn't had any time alone together because Angela was still staying in the main house and had discovered the wonders of Maura's Netflix account. She spent her time in the living room.

So the Detective and the ME only had stolen moments in the morgue office or the car to keep them going. The sexual frustration was growing and growing. Jane was afraid to do anything in Maura's house because Angela was so close by and she knew she'd scream, she had no doubt she about it. And she wouldn't be able to relax. But she was afraid to leave Maura's in case something happened to her mother. So she spent her nights sleeping on the couch in the living room below Maura's bedroom texting back and forth wishing more than anything she could sleep in Maura's arms. They managed it one night for about four hours. Maura came downstairs at 2 a.m. when she was sure Angela was asleep and they kissed and cuddled until Jane's alarm went off on her phone to indicate Maura needed to go and get ready for work.

Jane had had enough. Just the touch of Maura's fingers on her back caused her to shiver.

As she finished breakfast and left the kitchen to have a shower Maura pretended she'd forgotten to leave fresh towels out for Jane – like Jane didn't know where she kept them – and followed her upstairs to the bathroom.

Maura knocked and didn't get a reply. She opened the door slowly and peeked in. Jane was standing in her tank and black sweats arms around herself, tears in her eyes, looking into the mirror. She saw Maura come in but she didn't turn around. Instead she watched Maura walk up behind her and slip her arms around her waist. She was smaller than Jane without her heels on so she could only kiss her neck on her tiptoes. She held on tight as she turned Jane in her arms. She whispered softly "Why are you crying?"

"I want you so bad Mar." Jane's voice was so low Maura could hardly understand her.

"You can have me any sweetheart, any time you want me". Maura kissed her and Jane relaxed her hips against the counter top behind her.

"Maur I need to touch you. I need to feel you" Jane's hands roamed absentmindedly from Maura's neck to her shoulders down her arms and onto to her hips as she spoke. Jane dipped her head and kissed Maura's neck as she moved her hands to her ass.

"I need you naked" Maura shivered as Jane licked her neck

"I need to taste you" Jane sucked gently on Maura's pulse point and massaged her ass. Maura moaned and Jane pulled back and sighed.

"You see I can't have you. I can't have you the way I need you Maur"  
"Oh, I see". Jane held on tight for a few more seconds taking in the scent of this beautiful woman to get her through the rest of the day. As she stepped forward taking Maura with her she made a move towards the shower.

"Scoot before Ma thinks we're taking a shower together". She groaned in frustration at both the thought of showering with Maura and the thought of her having to leave.

Maura stood on her tiptoes for one last quick peck and opened the door to leave the Detective in peace. As she shut the door she stood on the other side for a few seconds imagining Jane undressing and climbing under the warm sprays of her multi-head shower. She touched her fingers briefly to her lips imagining the willowy detective naked and wet and…

"Maura?" Angela's voice jolted her out of her daydream.

"Angela!"

"Are you ok? You look…" Angela wasn't sure what that look was.

"I'm fine thank you"

"Ok. I'm going to go and get ready. I thought I might take Jo for a walk today, just around the park and back"

"If you're feeling well enough that sounds like a very good idea". How about now so I cant go and ravish your daughter in the shower Maura thought to herself

Angela walked down the hall and left Maura feeling thoroughly caught out even though she hadn't been caught doing anything.

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"Frankie" Jane's loud shout across the main reception reminded Frankie of all the times he'd done wrong by his big sister when they were younger. He shuddered remembering the Chinese burns he'd gotten.

Jane had tried calling his cell but it went straight to voicemail.

"Janie what's with the shouting?"  
"Do you not know what a cell phone is for?"  
"What?"  
"I've rung you three times and it went straight to voicemail every time"  
"The battery is dead. And you're here now. What is it? Is it Ma? Is she ok?"  
"She's fine. She's driving me crazy. I need you to do me a favour and not ask questions"

"Jane, I'm a police officer. I'm trained to ask questions. Are you ok?"  
"I'm fine. Please just do it for me?"

"Ok shoot"

"I need you to look after Ma tonight"  
"You need me to what?"  
"You heard me"  
"I thought I did. But I'm pretty sure Ma is able to look after herself. Last time I checked she reared us, fed us, dressed us. Why would I need to mind Ma?"

"Frankie, please?" Jane was literally whining so high that only dogs could hear her. Frankie was concerned his sister had finally lost it but he knew better than to argue. He'd never won an argument worth winning with Jane.

"Ok. When will you be back?"  
"Tomorrow"

"What time?"  
"I don't know"  
"Aww Janie come on tomorrow's my day off and I have plans"

"Plans?"  
"Yes plans"

"Like what?"  
"Ok I don't have plans"

"Ok then I'll be back when you see me. If Ma asked we caught a case and we're here all night"  
With that Jane bolted towards the elevator and left Frankie standing there wondering if that conversation had just happened and whether he should consult Maura about Jane's mental health.

She shouted her thanks just before the elevator doors closed.

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Jane had never clicked yes so many times on a website while barely reading a work. She saw double bed, champagne and late check out and she was sold. She texted Maura:

_"Finish all your paperwork by five. Go home. Pack a bag. Tell Ma we've caught a case if she's awake and that we're here all night"_

Maura stared at the phone for a few minutes. She wasn't a big fan of surprises. They had never been good experiences for her. But she was curious what Jane had planned. She texted back:

"_Ok. But you're going to have to have some kind of antihistamine with you if I have to lie to your mother xx"_

Jane's little smirk when she saw the kisses wasn't lost on Frost. But the death stare that followed shut him up. Then Jane suddenly remembered she had to be very nice to her partner if she wanted to be out of there by five. She smiled and Frost looked thoroughly confused at the range of emotions he'd just seen in Jane in twenty seconds.

"Frost, Korsak, coffee? My treat."

The men eyed each other warily.

"What do you want Jane?" Korsak asked

"I am offended Vince. I merely want to treat my two partners – past and present – to coffee"  
"Rizzoli did you fall and hit your head this morning?" Frost glanced at her getting more than slightly worried at the crazy ball of feelings that constituted his partner today.

Jane reminded herself not to snap. Instead she smiled sweetly and through partially gritted teeth asked again "Coffee gentlemen?"  
They placed their orders and watched Jane leave. When they were sure she was gone they both looked at one another again. Korsak shrugged and Frost went back to decoding an encrypted hard drive.

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As Jane ordered her coffees she spied Stanley watching her as she waited.

"Stanley, you ok?"  
"How's Angela?"  
Jane was taken aback by the fact it wasn't followed by "and when's she gettin' her ass back to work"

"She's good thanks Stanley. Still getting tired easily. But healing well" Stanley put the three coffees in a cardboard tray and handed them to Jane. She paid and just as she left she heard Stanley say "Tell her I said hello and I'm glad she's feeling better". Jane almost dropped the tray. Stanley had a heart, who knew?

She looked over her shoulder and said "I will".

When she came back with the coffees and produced a packet of cookies from her desk drawer Frost and Korsak exchanged glances again.

"Ok Janie what is it? You shoot someone? Run over a pedestrian? Cause I've known you long enough at this stage to know you don't share food"

If it had been anyone else other than Korsak Jane would have been offended. But he was right, he did know her too well.

Jane sighed "Ok I need to take off early"

Frost made a paper aeroplane out of five-dollar bill and threw it at Korsak's desk. Jane glared at both of them.

"What? He was right. I guessed you'd finally punched that mailman who kept leaving you the post for next door"

"So who is he then Detective?"  
"Who's, what, who?" Jane looked at Korsak as it dawned on her what he meant.

"Oh it's not, em…" Jane couldn't think what to say. She was blushing and the men both smiled.

"Well whoever he is he better treat you right Jane. I need a reason to wear that new suit I got and a wedding is just the occasion"

Jane still couldn't put a sentence together so she let Frost and Korsak argue over the blend and colour of said suit and whether it was or ever had been fashionable. She had never gotten as far in her head as telling people. She didn't want to keep it a secret though and she certainly wasn't going to hide it from two men she trusted with her life.

"She" Jane said quietly.

Frost and Korsak stopped arguing and turned to look at her.

"She?" Korsak repeated.

"Yes she. And she is treating me right". Jane was still blushing.

Korsak threw the five-dollar bill back at Frost. Jane looked on incredulous. Korsak laughed. "I guessed it was Charlie from Vice. Frost, well he can tell you himself"

"Reilly"

Jane stood up and plucked the five dollars from Frost's hand. I think you'll find that's mine. She returned to her desk and both men looked at her shocked.

They said in unison "No?"

Jane laughed. She knew they knew. Yes it is. And yes we're happy. And no you can't tell anyone else because right now none of the Rizzoli's know and I'll be damned if they're hearing it from you two.

Korsak stood up and walked over to Jane's desk and bent down to hug her. He said quietly so only she could hear "About time Janie, about time. Be happy"

As he stood up straight and quipped "explains why she never fell for your manly charms eh Frost?"

Frost threw a pen at him and missed.

Jane spent the next few hours doing paper work and watching the clock. She rang their residence for the evening to book a few extras and rang Frankie to make sure he was still ok with things. He asked her if she was feeling alright which she thought was a bit strange.

Then she rang her mother to explain what was happening. She got the Spanish inquisition, which she was expecting. But she managed to avoid letting anything slip.

As five o'clock approached she prayed to God her phone wouldn't ring. When a message beeped her heart sank.

She smiled when she saw the funny picture of Maura:

_On my way home. I'll see you in half an hour in the parking garage xx_

She shot a glance at Korsak and Frost who for the second time that day spoke in unison "Go!"

She smiled and grabbed her blazer as she shouted "thank you" over her shoulder. She realised she had a lot of people to thank for helping her out this last while. She walked into the changing room and put on a clean tank top and shirt she kept there for emergencies.

Then she made her way out to pick up a few things before Maura got back.

When she arrived in Maura's Prius was just pulling into the parking garage.

Jane walked over and opened her door for her. She took the overnight bag from her hand and kissed her on the cheek.

"You look beautiful"

"Thank You. It's new"

"When is it not?"  
Maura was about to take her literally when she realised Jane was being sarcastic.

"Oh ha ha Detective very funny"  
Jane just smiled as she hooked her arm in Maura's and walked her to her car. Once again she opened the door and watched Maura slide into the passenger seat. She threw the bag on the back seat and got in.

"So where are we going" Maura asked excitedly.

"That we be telling" Jane said with a wink.

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**A/N Ok the next bit is all Rizzles – nothing else – hand on heart. Just had to make sure Angela was ok! Any suggestions feel free to PM me!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok all Rizzles no one else – I hope! Don't blame me, they just appear. **

**Chapter 10**

Maura gasped when they pulled up outside the boutique hotel. They'd driven for two hours and were practically in the middle of nowhere by the time they stopped. But it wasn't the hotel they were staying in. Jane told Maura to stay in the car as she protested her ability to carry her own bags.

"Stay Maur, please. Let me?"  
Maura gave in at the pleading look in Jane's eyes. "Ok go. But hurry back". Maura was so excited about a night away with Jane that she couldn't bear to be apart from her. If this was the only chance they were going to get to be together for a while she was going to make the most of every minute.

When Jane returned from reception and put the key in the ignition Maura looked at her.

"Jane what are you doing?"

"We'll be there in two minutes" Jane reached behind her and pulled a piece of soft velvet from one of the bags she had.

"I want it to be a surprise. Can I?" Jane gestured with the velvet"

Maura nodded as Jane placed the material over her eyes and tied it in a double knot. She turned Maura back around in her seat and kissed her gently.

Jane started the car.

When they reached their destination she walked around to Maura's door and took her hand. Maura shivered as the cool evening air hit her skin. Jane immediately took her jacket off and wrapped it around the ME. Maura leaned in and missed Jane's lips as she kissed her cheek. "Thank You. Now are you going to take this off?" she asked indicating the blindfold

"Not yet. Soon I promise".

Jane instructed Maura to stay by the car as she took their bags out and brought them up the steps and left them by the door. She returned a third time – Maura had brought a serious amount for one night as Jane knew she would and she too had some added baggage – and took Maura's hand guiding her up the steps to the door and inside. The smell of rose petals and lavender instantly hit Maura. She stopped inside the door as she felt Jane's arms wrap around her waist from behind kissing her temple. She leaned back and took the blindfold off.

Maura was silent for ten seconds, something Jane had never witnessed before except when she was asleep. She took in the small log cabin, the living area to the left, and the massive kitchen to the right. The stairs lead up to a mezzanine level, which Maura couldn't see, clearly from where they stood. There was a massive open fire lighting and a bottle of champagne on ice in the kitchen.

Finally she said quietly "Oh my gosh Jane. It's beautiful" She turned around in Jane's arms and put her arms around her neck. She rested her forehead against Jane's and smiled. "You are such a mix of contradictions do you know that Detective".

"How so Doctor?"  
"Big bad detective who scares suspects, one of the boys, drinks beer. And here you are rose petals on the staircase, lavender in an oil burner and champagne on ice"

Jane laughed, "Suppose you're right, as always. I'd say I know how to treat my lady but you've been the only lady and I've no idea how one treats a lady because the guys that dated me didn't really do the romance bit"

"This is perfect Jane. Thank You"  
"Stop saying thank you. I should be thanking you. My God you've put up with all my crazy all this time and you're still here. So either you're as crazy as me or you're a saint"

"There is a third option"  
Jane looked into her eyes "What?"

"I love you" Maura leaned in and kissed Jane longingly tongues battling. The kiss became heated quick and Jane had to step back before her heart overruled her head and she made this night all about her need. And she didn't want it to be that.

Jane pulled back "Woah woah, we need to slow down"  
Maura pouted and Jane laughed, "You are adorable. But much as I want you ravish you right now I want to woo you first"

Maura's eyes sparkled. "Woo me. Why Jane I'm intrigued. And honestly you've wooed me enough already. But you may continue"

"Thanks for the permission" Jane said dryly

"I didn't… You were being sarcastic"

"Wow you must really love me. You're getting my sarcasm earlier and earlier. I don't even have to tell you anymore" Jane winked as she headed for the kitchen and told Maura to sit down in the living room. She called the hotel after she'd booked the cabin online and asked them if they could stock some essentials for their stay. She'd talked to a lovely girl named Judy who was very helpful and when Jane explained that she was trying desperately to impress a woman who was used to the finer things in life Judy laughed and told her about her attempts to woo her new girlfriend Roz by brining her to a wildlife sanctuary only to find out after five minutes that she was seriously allergic to animal hair. They chatted for a few minutes and Judy assured her that she'd send someone down to the local store to pick up the few bits and pieces that Jane needed. They had some of it already on site and the rest she was sure the store would have.

Jane picked up the champagne and walked to the living area with the bucket and two flutes. She settled beside Maura on the massive cream sofa with cushions that almost swallowed you whole when sat into them. As a result Jane almost spilled the champagne all over herself. Luckily Maura saved her by grabbing the bottle.

"Ah my knight in shining armour"

Maura had a thoughtful, far away look on her face and Jane imagined she was wondering where she could get a suit of armour to fit her or if all knights were actually male when no one could see their faces. Jane let her wonder and didn't dare ask as she poured the gold liquid into the flutes. She handed one to Maura and they clinked glasses

Maura smiled as she took a sip. It didn't taste half as bad as she thought it would. She laughed as Jane sneezed after some bubbles went up her nose. "Very ladylike Jane"  
"What?" Jane asked defensively. "I'm not used to this fizzy crap"

"Language Jane"  
Jane stuck her tongue out but moved closer to Maura as she whispered into her ear "The bad language rule doesn't apply later when we're in bed, understand?"  
"And what pray tell makes you think either of us will be swearing?"  
"Well I don't know about you Maur but I'm wound so tight at this stage that I'm literally about to explode. And I've had to restrain myself from taking the edge off because I couldn't imagine anyone but you touching me"  
Maura let out a small squeak from the corner of the couch.

Jane took Maura's glass out of her hand and placed it on the table. Her restraint of five minutes earlier had disappeared. She had been dreaming about this for so long that now she was able to do it she was nervous.

She straddled Maura's waist and made sure to smooth her black dress down between them to prevent creases. She put her hands behind Maura's neck and leaned in set to kiss her but veering off as her nerves got the better of her. She rested her head on Maura's shoulder and lowered herself down into her lap.

Maura knew what was happening and she knew no amount of coaxing was going to talk her out of this. She needed to let Jane's confidence overrule the niggling little voice in her mind telling her no.

Maura whispered into her ear "There is no pressure. This is perfect. All I need is you here Jane Rizzoli, nothing else unless you want to"

Jane pulled back to look at her "How do you always know?"  
"Because I know you and I love you Jane"  
Jane leaned in again and this time she captured Maura's lips. The kiss was soft. She wanted to take this as slow as she could. But desire was getting the better of her again. She resumed massaging Maura's neck and ran her hands down between Maura and the sofa to open her bra through her dress. She proceeded to pull it off through one of the sleeves.

"Jane, how…?"  
"I spent a lot of time changing in front of boys when we played sports. I was always on the boy's team. Getting changed with my clothes still on or after a shower with a towel on became a party trick"  
Maura began to ponder again thinking about gender and whether it really was defined by nature or nurture when Jane captured her lips in another heated kiss. As she began to tease her nipples through the silk of her dress Maura pushed forward. The sensation was unusual and extremely arousing. Maura pushed hard into Jane's hands almost lifting Jane off her lap as she urged the Detective to continue her ministrations.

Jane however had other ideas. She took Maura by the hand and pulled her up off the sofa continuing to kiss her.

She walked them around the glass coffee table to the open fire. She sat down on the chenille rug and pulled Maura down into her lap. She resumed kissing the doctor while slowly lowering her to the floor. Jane's nerves were still thrumming through her and her heartbeat in her ears was distracting. But more than anything she wanted this to be perfect for Maura. And it would be if she had anything to do with it. She lay down beside Maura. Contrary to the popular belief that she would be 'the man' she was quite shy in bed. But this was Maura and she wanted to step up. However, she didn't want to dominate or take over. Maura put her hand up to cup Jane's face "Stop thinking and kiss me"  
And in that instance Jane knew she didn't have to worry. Maura would guide her.

She reached behind Maura to unzip her dress getting it to a point where she could pull it off her shoulder and down to her toned abs.

Jane propped herself up on her elbow mesmerised. She reached out to touch one of Maura's breasts and then the other, almost as if to make sure it was real. She released a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding Maura closed her eyes at the sensation of Jane playing with her breasts. Jane in turn spent minutes exploring each one with her fingers and her mouth causing Maura to moan and keen. She was getting ridiculously turned on just from this. She feared she'd come without Jane even touching her. As Jane returned her attentions to her lips continuing to pinch her nipples Maura broke the kiss to speak

"Jane sweetheart I know you want to take this slowly, but my God I need you so badly right now. I'm throbbing and it's starting to hurt"

Jane moaned into Maura's neck as she sucked hard leaving a red mark. She pushed Maura's dress up as she continued to kiss here neck and lips intermittently, looking into her eyes for permission as she reached between her thighs and felt her damp panties.

Maura held her gaze as she said Take me Jane"  
Jane slipped her hand into the black lace underwear and put her finger against Maura's clit. Maura jumped at the contact and Jane leaned down to capture her lips again. "Too much?"  
"No just sensitive. Feels good, keep going"

Jane took her index and middle finger and ran them through the wetness gathering in Maura's folds and found her opening. Again she looked into her eyes for permission. Maura smiled as she saw the beautiful Detective so concerned. She knew Jane couldn't hurt her. When she had it wasn't intentional and now she was trying so hard to make up for it.

Maura nodded again and Jane slid two fingers into her. Maura exhaled deeply as Jane began to set a slow rhythm matching the thrust of Maura's hips with the thrust of her fingers.

"Ah Jane, yes, yes Jane, there, that's ah" Maura looked at Jane who was so concentrated on the task at hand she appeared almost hypnotised.

"Jane, look at me?"

Jane snapped out of it and looked straight at Maura.

"I love you"  
"God I love you too Maur"  
Jane placed her thumb on Maura's clit and began a slow circular motion as she quickened the pace of her fingers. She kept her eyes on Maura whose skin glowed in the firelight. If it was possible she looked even more beautiful.

"Jane baby, yes, oh I'm gona cum Jane"  
Jane moved up along Maura's body and slipped her arm behind her neck as she continued to stroke her, feeling Maura start to tense.

She whispered into her ear, her breath hot, "You are so beautiful Maur, cum for me, I want to watch you"  
Maura crumbled at the moment, her walls clenching down on Jane's fingers so tight she couldn't move them to capture the wetness that was slipping out by them. She slowed her movements but stayed inside Maura as she continued to kiss her. Maura couldn't speak for a few moments as she got her breath back. When she did there were tears in her eyes. Jane panicked but Maura kissed her quickly to calm her

"It's ok, it's ok. They're good tears. Although I still don't see how that particular colloquialism works" Jane smiled when she realised Maura was indeed absolutely fine.

"Why are you crying?"  
Maura sniffed as she replied "no one has ever been that gentle with me. My lovers have always presumed that I'm there to be taken. That it is about their pleasure. That was so tender. Oh Jane thank you"

"Maur you really are gona have to stop thanking me or I'll get a God complex" Jane winked and Maura slapped her on the arm "Don't go getting any ideas about yourself Detective. That was amazing but I'm going to need a few more practice runs before I can call you a God"

Jane leaned in for a kiss "Practice runs. Ooh I like the sound of that"

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**A/N I'm going to split this into two chapters because too much smut in one go will kill me! So they'll still be in the cabin when we get back. And then I've something planned for the finale that will hopefully work! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry this has taken so long. Family birthdays, work and the only week of sun we're likely to have all year have kept me busy. That and it's actually taken a lot of re-writes to, I hope get this right. If it's not please do let me know. **

**Chapter 11**

Jane and Maura lay by the fire, slowly exploring each other's bodies. Skin glowed in the firelight and eyes were a deeper hue, studying every curve and dip closely. Clothes were slowly removed Jane removing Maura's dress and ruined black satin underwear and Maura removing Jane's jeans t-shirt and purple lace underwear. Soft touches and caresses began to become more heated as light caresses became heavy presses and feather light kisses became pressured and insistent.

As Maura's hand ventured lower to Jane's hip she caught her wrist and brought her hand up to kiss her palm.

"Bed?"

Maura nodded. Jane stood and brought Maura up with her. She put her arms on Maura's lower back and instructed her to "hold on tight" as she lifted her. Feeling Jane's strong arms around her made Maura shiver, as the wetness that had been present since her last orgasm made contact with Jane's bare stomach. She wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer and Jane knew. But she didn't mind. They had all night. And she intended to spend every minute of it making love to the woman she loved.

As they walked up the stairs Maura's hips moved up and down against Jane's stomach and she could hardly breath by the time they got to the top.

"Jane sweetheart I need you, quickly, please"  
Jane didn't hesitate. She knew they could play all night. Right now she needed to relieve the pressure Maura was feeling. She was all too familiar with it. It was one she'd felt in her lower abdomen for as long as she could remember now. What she'd once thought was just adrenaline and stress from work she'd now realised was more a mix of arousal and longing.

She pushed Maura against the nearest wall when they reached the top of the stairs, holding her up with one hand and her body as she slipped her second hand between them finding Maura wetter than she had been five minutes earlier. She didn't think that was possible and she groaned as she felt it.

"Jane please" Maura had a tear in her eye.

"It's ok Maur, I've got you"

Jane slipped her fingers forward and along Maura's folds circling her clit with her thumb. She moved lower to enter her but Maura shook her head against her shoulder.

"Ok baby ok" She got the message that Maura just needed her to relieve the pressure.

"I've got you baby, when you're ready let go, I'll always catch you"  
Maura moved frantically against Jane's fingers begging for release. Jane changed the movement of her thumb and instead of circling she stroked from underneath Maura's clit onto the tender surface to bring some of Maura's wetness with her. Making her clit less sensitive with the wetness was just the push Maura needed. She fell apart in Jane's arms and breathed heavily into her shoulder as she came. When Jane felt a few more tears on her neck she gently moved both her hands so they were back under Maura's ass and looked into her eyes.

"Maur baby, if you cry every time we do this I'm going to have a bit of a problem believing you enjoy it"

Maura gave a very weak smile. "I'm sorry Jane. It just all feels a bit surreal, although I'm aware that is not an actual state but rather a psychological trick. I never believed we'd be here. I never thought the one person who finally made me feel like I fit in would be the one person who made me feel so alive and so desired"

Jane moved Maura away from the wall and continued to look at her as she walked them to the King size bed.

She lay Maura's naked form down on the bed and moved to lie beside her so they were almost one as Maura tangled her legs around hers and curled her body into hers resting an arm behind her neck and another on her stomach.

Jane turned to look at her. "Maura, I don't do emotions, you know me long enough to know that. I don't express what I feel. I keep it inside. The cop in me tells me it's weak to cry"

She saw Maura look hurt and try to wipe away her tears. She held her tighter.

"No not you Maur, not you, me. I'm the big sister. The badass cop. Remember all those things you said?"

Maura nodded.

"I am all those things; big bad Detective Jane Rizzoli. But behind it all there was a little part of me I kept for you. A smile, a joke, a story. I know you know them; you've seen them. And I can't be sure but I think you have them for me too". Maura smiled and Jane said, "Yes that there exactly. And those smiles, those stories, I kept them all secret, just for you. And maybe in keeping them secret I started to keep other things secret, things I should have told you a long time ago. Things like how much I absolutely love and adore you. How scared I have been that this would happen and more than that that this would never happen"

"Jane, your thoughts and words are meandering. I'm trying to follow but I'm getting lost"  
"Sorry. Ok basically, I love you, I think I've always loved you. But I've been scared witless to admit it. When Ma got shot, the thought that she was human– well it made me realise that everyone in my life was like that – they could all be taken in a heartbeat. And the thought of you not being there", she held Maura's body tightly as she kissed her on her forehead "I couldn't even go there"  
"Go where?"

Jane laughed quietly in Maura's hair but stopped short of letting her realise she was laughing in case she got insulted. This was one of the things she loved most about Maura, her complete inability of understand a turn of phrase and her ability to turn everything into something literal.

"I couldn't imagine my life without you. I tried and I couldn't. When you walked into my apartment that night and found me, that's what I was doing, taking people out of the equation one by one to see who I could do without. Turns out I couldn't do without any of you, even Bass" – as Maura opened her mouth Jane said, "Yes Maura I know Bass is not a person. But you, my heart almost broke when I thought about my life without you"

"I'm yours Jane, I'll always be yours if you let me?"  
"I want nothing more in the world than for you to be mine so long as I can be yours. Man I just heard that back in my head? Did I really just say that out loud?"  
Maura moved so that she was straddling Jane's waist and leaned in, smiling into a kiss.

"Yes you did and I love you so much for it. I know how difficult it is for big bad Detective Rizzoli to be honest about her emotions. And the fact that you feel you can trust me with them makes me feel like the luckiest woman alive, well apart from Sophia Loren"

She leaned in and kissed Jane again, licking her bottom lip so she could play with her tongue and deepen the kiss, the butterflies in her tummy stirring up another wave. "Now can I show you why I'm the luckiest woman alive?"

Jane smiled a shy smile as she looked down and nodded "Please"

Maura resumed the kiss as she lowered her hands to Jane's breasts taking one in each hand. She palmed every inch, pinching nipples causing Jane's hips to move off the bed. Jane hadn't realised how turned on until her sex collided with Maura's. Maura slowed her ministrations and lowered her head to take a nipple into her mouth. Maura began to grind herself against Jane's sex, wetness mingling and breathing hitching as Jane grabbed her hips and encouraged her to move faster.

Maura moved to kiss down Jane's abs, shifting position so contact was lost. Jane whined and Maura smiled against her stomach. She continued to kiss down along Jane's toned stomach flicking her tongue in and out of her belly button causing the detective to grab her hair and let out a long low guttural moan.

"Something wrong detective?"  
"Maur you're gona have to fuck me soon or I'm going to die"  
"You know that's not physically possible. I mean…"

Jane growled, "I swear Maur"

Maura laughed as she worked her way lower, laying her head against Jane's upper thigh. She blew a warm breath against Jane's core causing her to shiver.

She watched Jane lift her head off the pillows to look down at her

"Please Maur"  
Maura held Jane gaze as a look of sheer lust washed over her "mine, always"

Immediately Jane felt a tongue flat against her folds, moving up to circle her clit and back down to gather more wetness. The taste of Jane was amazing. She couldn't get enough. She curled her tongue and inserted the tip gently into Jane starting to flick her clit with her thumb.

Jane's whole body was covered in a sheen of sweat. Every nerve ending was on edge and as she felt Maura's tongue inch further inside slipping in and out Jane's grasp on her Maura's hair tightened.

"Maur, ah, there Maur, yes, yes, yes"  
Jane came hard, the pent up desire that had been building for so long gushing from her, her breath ragged, chest heaving as she tried to get air back into her lungs.

Maura stayed still for minutes, hands stroking up and down Jane's sides, head resting on her hip after she cleaned up all of Jane's wetness, in turn causing more, making her smile. She felt Jane's breathing slow as she kissed up along her side, along the edge of her left breast onto her shoulder and eventually in and onto her lips.

"Jane open you eyes for me sweetie"  
Jane was only coming back to her senses as she heard Maura's voice. The orgasm had been intense and quick; necessary to relieve all of Jane's pent up frustration.

"What the hell did you just do"  
"Cunn…"

"Eew Maura no, no. Not literally. Jesus" Jane threw an arm across her eyes which Maura promptly pushed away"

Maura looked at her quizzically "What?"  
Jane just shook her head. "That was, wow"  
"That is not a sentence Jane"

"No I'm finding …. kinda difficult … words … right now"

Maura curled against Jane's side and kissed her cheek.

"I'll forgive you. I have that effect on women"  
Jane turned abruptly to looks at her and Maura gave her a wink

"You… what… when" Jane managed, still out of breath.

"Jane you really are going to have to start speaking correctly" Maura nudged her hip as she threw her leg over Jane's bare stomach rubbing herself along Jane's side.

"Don't even try and distract me with sex Doctor. Women - plural?"  
"Two Jane; two women and they were nothing special. One was a college fling and the other was a kind of arrangement for a few months when we were bored.

Jane's mouth was agape  
"What? Jane you knew I'd slept with other people?"

"Yes people, men. But women?"  
"Jane my darling they were just convenient. India and I were lonely in college. We became friends and a mutual attraction developed. But she returned to Britain after summer term and I never heard from her again. And Denise was just a casual acquaintance"

She looked at the curly haired detective who was still staring at her incredulous.

"And I never told you about either of them because they don't matter. They never did. They were just sex. This…" She took her hand and ran her thumb over Jane's cheekbone "This is love. This is all I've ever wanted in my life. I have never felt so special as I do right now. No one has ever wanted me so much, been so tender with me, loved me or kissed me the way you do. No one sends a tingle down my spine with just a look. You are my mine, now and I hope always". She leaned in to claim the detective's lips possessively.

Jane was apprehensive about her next move but she knew this was their time, the only time her and Maura may get together for a while. So she took an executive decision, one that made her head spin and her tummy flip.

"Maur, I…" Jane looked away

"Jane, darling, look at me" Jane turned her face to look back at Maura "Are you jealous?"  
"Jealous?" Jane thought back "No, well, no, I'm more… Maur I want to make sure you know you're mine"

Maura raised an eyebrow "Detective?"  
"Close your eyes"

Maura was hesitant but she saw how nervous Jane was and she knew she'd do anything to make that look go away. She closed her eyes and felt Jane's weight move off the bed.

It felt like forever before Jane returned to the foot of the bed.

"Open your eyes baby"

Jane's naked form was highlighted by lamp she had switched on in the corner. Maura could make out the appendage Jane was wearing, leather straps adhering to her slight hips, purple dildo attached. Maura gasped and a smile subsequently appeared. "Jane… I…"

Words tumbled out of Jane's mouth as her breathing quickened

"If it's too much I can take it off. I went shopping today and well I just. But I can take it off Maura, I just don't know. It seemed…"

As Jane continued to ramble Maura pushed herself down the bed on her elbows so her legs were hanging over the end. Jane caught sight of Maura's hips tilted towards her, eyes begging.

"What are you waiting for Detective"  
Jane groaned "Maur"  
Maura sat up and grabbed Jane's hips guiding her down. Jane's confidence had disappeared. She had talked herself into this, convincing herself she could do it. She thought maybe Maura would enjoy it. That's all she'd really thought about, making sure Maura had a good time. She wanted to give Maura everything she needed and desired.

She felt Maura pulling her in, her heels digging into Jane's back as she lay back on the bed still looking at the detective.

"Fuck Me Jane"  
That was all Jane needed. She leaned into Maura's grabbing her hips as she slipped herself gently into the copious moisture present.

Maura let out a long moan as Jane filled her. She stilled for a moment making sure Maura could feel all of her. Then she resumed moving her hips thrusting the strap-on slowly in and out of Maura's soft tender opening the area around which was now engorged thanks to their earlier lovemaking.

"Ah Jane, yes, oh God you're so big. Faster, yes, yes…"

Jane set a rhythm that she could maintain with her hips and placed the tip of her finger on Maura's clit circling gently. She watched as the doctor's face contorted in pleasure. Her breathing was quick and her eyes were shut squeezed tightly.

Maura went quiet as the first throws of orgasm grabbed her. Then Jane's name suddenly echoed around the whole room as Maura's heels dug into her back hard enough to leave bruises. Jane felt the strap-on being held in place tightly as Maura's muscles clenched and relaxed repeatedly. Yoga really did work wonders for every muscle in the human body.

Jane slowed her movements as Maura's muscles finally relaxed and her grip on Jane loosened. After a few moments she removed the strap-on and slipped the harness off.

She climbed onto the bed beside Maura and slowly coaxed her limp body up along the bed with her, laying her head on the first pillow they hit at the bed head.

"Maur?"  
"Hmm"

Jane chuckled "Maura Dorothea Isles, open your eyes please"

Heavy lids opened and hazel eyes set Jane's pulse racing again.

"Are you ok?" Jane asked, genuinely concerned she had done something wrong.

Maura pulled Jane close with the one arm she could lift and kissed her lazily

"I am amazingly alright"

Jane laughed "Thank God for that. I thought I'd killed you"  
"Once again Detective not possible, but should wear that thing all the time. I could get used to it"

Jane looked a little disconcerted "If it's a man you want…"  
"Jane, oh Jane, no. I want you. It's just an interesting addition. However your fingers are just as talented and far more flexible. Everything that just came out of my mouth was endorphin fuelled. I don't think straight for at least ten minutes post orgasm. I can say almost anything"

"So if I'm looking for an straight forward answer from you about cause of death all I have to do is wear a strap-on. Hmm interesting"

Maura slapped her playfully on the arm.

Jane's eyes clouded over again as she thought about what they were doing. Maura had never seen Jane so lacking in confidence so often in such a short space of time. And she needed to reassure her that all of this could work. She broke the silence;

"Jane do you remember what you said to me the day of the Boston Marathon? It's something that has stuck with me ever since"

They mouthed it at the same time "We don't give in to fear"

"Let's not Jane. Let's give this a go. We can work. This can work. I love you so very much and if you let me I'll tell you every day"

Jane smiled that goofy smile she reserved solely for Maura as she ducked her head in onto her neck nodding.

Maura heard a muffled "I love you too" on her shoulder as she pulled a cotton sheet over their naked forms.

She yawned as she felt Jane snuggle in tighter. She threw her leg over Jane's sleeping form, getting as close as she could to the beautiful woman she loved so much. Sleep was what they both needed right now.

x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Jane woke up at 4 a.m. and felt Maura's weight on top of her. Much as she needed to get up and use the toilet, she didn't want to disturb the beautiful woman sleeping half on her. Eventually though she had to so she tried to gently slip out from under the sleeping form.

Unfortunately the sleeping form arose and groaned as she moved.

"Sshhh Maur go back to sleep, I'll be back in two minutes"  
"Jane where are you going?"  
"Bathroom"  
"Oh ok"

Maura tried to role of Jane but needed her girlfriends help to move. Her muscles ached. It had been a while since she'd been so vigorous with a lover in bed.

When Jane lowered her down the last bit she saw Maura wince  
"Baby are you ok?"  
"I'm fine, I just…" Maura tried to turn onto her hip to look at Jane but it protested.

Jane lay back down "Maur are you ok?"  
"Fine, just cramp in my hip" Maura tried to straighten her leg but the muscle in her hip was still in spasm and her face screwed up in pain.

Jane lowered her hand to massage the area but Maura shook her head "Too sore, please don't"

"Oh crap Maura did I do this?"  
"Em technically. Not so much you but our sexual activity which you participated in"  
Jane shook her head "Right I'll be back in two minutes"

Maura lay her head down and kept her right side elevated to keep the pressure off the cramping. Jane placed a gentle kiss on her head and left.

After a few minutes Maura could smell camomile coming from the bathroom. She tried to get up but couldn't.

The door opened and Jane walked out scooping Maura into her arms, supporting her under he knees and upper back, and without stopping walked her into the steam filled bathroom.

Jane walked over to the bath with a still dozing Maura in her arms. Very awkwardly and carefully she lowered them into the tub.

Maura's eyes opened fully as she felt the warm water envelop her. She felt Jane's strong body behind her, her hand on her right hip massaging slowly with her fingers gently.

"That ok?"  
"Mmmhmmm"

Maura relaxed back into Jane allowing her to knead the pain in her hip, the water making it far less tender.

Maura shifted to turn her head and kiss Jane softly. The water sloshed around the bath and Jane realised how sensitive her whole body was.

"Thank You. You always know what I need"

"Huh" Jane was lost in a rush of heat, pooling between her legs where the pressure of Maura and the warm water were doing nothing to calm down her racing hormones.

"This the bath, you always know what I need. And now I can see what you need. You're turned on"  
"What" Jane said it loudly in protest, which enforced Maura's thinking. Jane only yelled like that when she followed it ten seconds later with a concession that Maura was right.

"You are". Maura tried to turn fully but her hip, though much better, continued to protest. She bit her lip and made another effort but it was too hard.

"Maur stop trying to move. Yes I am, but it's ok. I don't want you hurting yourself"

"I'm sorry Jane. I want to pleasure you but I can't move"

Jane kissed the side of her head as she laughed

"Maur stop please, stop. Come on we're going back to bed"

Jane stepped out of the tub and took a towel off the heated radiator wrapping Maura in it supporting her as she climbed out of the tub.

"But Jane…"  
Maura continued to protest as Jane carried her back to bed drying herself off against the towel wrapped around Maura as they went.

As she laid them down Maura looked at her with wide eyes "I want to touch you, please"  
"Maura if you keep talking like that I'm going to let you and then I'll never forgive myself if you get hurt"  
"It was a spasm, it's fine now. Your talented fingers worked it out"

"Turn on your side – your good side" Jane clarified. She knew she wasn't going to get any peace until Maura fulfilled her need to 'pleasure her'.

Maura's eyes widened as she watched Jane's hips arch up to meet her own hand. She stared transfixed as Jane's fingers glided smoothly through her folds and into her slit.

"Jane…"  
"Hmm?"  
"Oh God Jane, you're so, oh God"  
Jane smiled "You told me sex was a good way to relieve stress. After that I got quite good at this. In fact sometimes…

Jane bit her lip as she quickened the pace of her fingers,

"sometimes I used to imagine it was you. And I used to cum so hard thinking about you kissing me and touching me and making love to me… ah… Maur…"  
"I know, I'm watching honey, you're so beautiful, cum for me"  
Maura slid against Jane's body and managed to kiss her temple as she felt her shake, orgasm taking her over a few moments later.

Jane slowly slipped her fingers out of herself and Maura grabbed her wrist bringing it up and touching the fingers to her lips as she licked them clean "I'm never going to get enough of that taste"

Jane held her gaze as she watched Maura suck each of her fingers into her mouth. She almost came again just watching it.

"Woman are you trying to kill me? Cause you will you know?"  
Maura finished cleaning Jane's thumb and leaned in to kiss her so she could taste herself

"Well you'd die happy at least" Maura laughed at her own joke and Jane joined her.

"True"

"Honey I need to sleep a while longer. I'm still kind of sore. Can you hold me?"

Jane slid her arms around Maura and intertwined their legs as Maura had done earlier.

"Always. This ok?"  
"Perfect. I love you"  
"I love you too baby"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- x-x-x-x

8 a.m. brought a waft of coffee into the bedroom.

Jane rolled over in bed and realised Maura wasn't there.

She got up and wandered down the stairs into the kitchen.

Maura had a pair of silk baby blue boy shorts and a baby blue camisole on. The gap between the two left pale skin on show that Jane's fingers were drawn straight too.

As she walked up behind Maura and started to tickle the skin the doctor sighed and relaxed into her arms as she moved her hands around to her stomach and started to massage it. Jane kissed her neck and then turned her in her arms to give her a long lazy kiss on the lips.

"Good morning beautiful"

"Good morning Jane"  
"You smell better than the coffee"

"Jane I smell like sex and syrup that I spilled making pancakes"

"Like I said better than coffee" Jane leaned in and began to kiss down Maura's neck and over her collar bone bringing her hands higher to cup Maura's breasts through the silk. Maura arched into her touch but moaned in frustration and pulled away.

"Breakfast will burn"

She turned to the cooker and began to remove the various pots and pans and the grill. Maura had made French toast, pancakes, bacon and mushrooms. Jane was almost salivating at the sight of it when Maura placed their plates on the massive old oak table that could seat ten.

Jane had other ideas for breakfast however. Instructing Maura to fill glasses of juice and mugs with coffee she made her way towards the back porch. They hadn't been out there the night before. But there was a seating area and a view over a small lake, which glistened in the early morning sun.

She sat the breakfasts down as Maura appeared with the drinks. As Maura went to sit in a chair Jane opened her arms and indicated for her to come and sit in her lap.

Maura smiled and snuggled into Jane as they sat watching the water glistening and a duck and her ducklings toddling by on the way for their morning dip.

Maura sighed in contentment. "Perfect"  
"Yes you are" Jane said, nose nuzzled into Maura's neck.

Maura laughed. "You know what I mean detective. But yes you are too"  
"Hmm perfect and me. Don't think those two words have been used together in a sentence unless there was a 'not' in there somewhere"  
"Something like 'not to mention she's perfect'"

Jane went to correct Maura but saw the glint in her eye "Hey you're getting good at this joke thing"  
"I learned from the best" Maura winked at her and gave her that smile that Jane loved, dimples and all.

"God this is so perfect. I wish we could stay here forever"  
"Well my parents have a cabin similar to this in Slovenia, near Lake Bled. It's fabulous in the summer months. Maybe we could take a break there next year?"  
"You mean when the murderers in Boston decide to take a break?"  
Maura leaned further back into Jane's arms resting her head on her shoulder "Something like that yes"  
Jane chuckled "Okay it's a deal. What a weird name for a Lake"  
Maura was about to speak and explain its origins when Jane kissed her slowly, tongues playing at the tip for minutes, causing her to completely lose her train of thought. She sighed and began to pick at breakfast, which was rapidly getting cold. Jane decided to do the same. It was a tricky task with Maura on her lap but she managed it. She wouldn't have had it any other way.

As they finished Maura inquired as to what time they needed to be back. Having heard about Jane's discussion with Frankie she admonished her for being so mean to her brother while silently thankful they had a few more hours before returning to reality.

They agreed to take a walk by the lake, throwing on the closest clothes they could find. Maura took one of Jane's t-shirts, which even though it was too long on her smelled of her Jane. She had the real thing beside her but she wanted to be surrounded by her completely. As they left the cabin to go for a walk Jane picked Maura up and she instinctively wrapped her legs around her hips, and arms around her neck, kissing her gently.

As Maura pulled back she looked into the beautiful eyes staring so intently at her.

"You know my hip is much better know. Maybe before we leave I could sort out that problem we had last night"

Jane groaned, "You tell me this after we're dressed and ready to go for a walk"

"Oh Jane I told you before about teasing and psychological torture. Have a taught you nothing?"  
"Yeah you've taught me you're gona be a serious pain in my ass. A beautiful, sexy, intelligent, gorgeous, amazing pain in my ass" Jane smiled as she stuck her tongue out at Maura.

Maura laughed as she slipped down off Jane's waist and intertwined their fingers as they made their way down the front steps.

"I'll make it up to you I promise" Maura gave a still frustrated looking Jane a quick peck on the lips as they left for what was sure to be the most sexually frustrated walk in history. If Jane wasn't done for indecency in a public place it would be a miracle.

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**A/N Thanks for all the lovely reviews and follows guys. I've one more chapter left of this one and then I've to back to the drawing board with another R&I one I started a last year but never really got off the ground. **


	12. Chapter 12

**I have to write an Epilogue because there is something I need to put in but it has to run into another day so it couldn't happen in this chapter. Plus it really needs a chapter to itself. So apologies for the 'Last Chapter' warning. It really was meant to be the last – and if you stop reading now I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (sorry it took so freaking long!). But there will be an epilogue in the next few weeks I promise – I'm officially unemployed again so it'll be sooner rather than later! Plus I want to write a couple of one shot Rolivia's and a longer Rizzles I've had on the back burner so it'll give me an incentive to finish this!**

**CHAPTER 12**

The silence in the house was deafening. Jo Friday was at Maura's. Tommy and TJ were asleep and Frankie was at work. And Angela…

_3 MONTHS LATER_

Angela was suddenly roaring at her from the bedroom. "Jane Clementine Rizzoli, get in here now and choose a dress"

Jane sighed and hollered back "I'm dressed Ma, leave it alone and come on. We have to be in Maura's in half an hour and you know how she gets when anyone is late"

"You are not wearing those threadbare jeans and that scruffy t-shirt to lunch"  
"Ma it's a Barbeque at Maura's. And stop shouting, TJ is only down the hall. If you wake him from his nap he's going to be cranky as hell all day long"

"Bit like his aunt" Angela shouted. And at that moment the crying started. Tommy was staying with Jane because he was between jobs and he had TJ at weekends so he needed a permanent address. He'd learned that when the baby slept he slept. And now they were both awake.

"Nice work Ma"  
Angela walked out into the living area and gave Jane a scathing look

"If you'd just come into your room and put on something nice none of this would be necessary"  
Tommy appeared with a whimpering TJ in his arms

"What the hell is with all the shouting? Look what you did" He gestured to his infant son with his face scrunched up limbs flailing.

"Good thing car rides calm him down. Janie you're going to have to drive around the block a couple of times when we get to Maura's just to make sure he's asleep"

Jane and Angela were both impressed by the way Tommy was stepping up as a Dad.

"Will do little bro"

"Jane, bedroom, dress"

"Ma" Jane whined but Angela gave her that look that was all too familiar now; I got shot, everything else loses as an argument".

Jane moved towards the bedroom uttering words about murder and maiming.

She flicked through everything in her closet that resembled a passable ensemble for lunch at Maura's. She'd put the jeans and t-shirt on because they were comfortable and Maura had admired the t-shirt once saying the burnt orange colour brought out colours she hadn't seen in her eyes before. But deep down she knew her Ma was right.

She eventually settled on a royal blue wrap around dress synched in at the waist with a silver belt, matching royal blue heels and a silver clutch. She tried to bring her hair up in a clip but it was being more unruly than usual today. Maura liked her hair down anyway so she ran some styling gel through it and hoped it would keep.

When she emerged from the bedroom Tommy wolf whistled and Angela's eyes lit up. She walked towards Jane and squeezed her cheeks.

"There's my girl. You are so beautiful Jane why can't you accentuate all that beauty with clothes. I would have thought Maura would have rubbed off on you at this stage"

Jane and Maura had decided when they returned from their trip that they were going to tell the Rizzoli clan together. So they sat them all down that evening and in the end they didn't really need to say much. Jane's smile when she sat on the coffee table taking Maura's hand in hers said it all. They were overwhelmed by hugs as the Rizzoli's congratulated both of them in their different ways, Angela talking about grandbabies, Tommy saying how cool it'd be to have Maura to educate TJ who this week was apparently going to be a doctor – the week before he was going to be an astronaut. And Frankie just smiled. He'd seen it every time he looked at his big sister and the doctor together at scenes, in the morgue, in the pen. He knew and he was just happy they finally knew as well. He pulled them both into a hug and told them that he was there and if anyone in work gave them trouble Frost, Korsak and him would kick their asses. That night as Maura and Jane lay in bed reminiscing about their break away Jane shed a few tears because she finally felt she was truly safe and home. As she fell asleep in Maura's arms for once there was no fear of nightmares no worrying about what tomorrow would bring. She was home.

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Maura was watching out the window wondering why on earth Jane was driving around the block for the last twenty minutes.

When she was Angela lifting TJ out of the car in his carrycot she remembered that it was Tommy's weekend to have him. TJ was obviously restless hence the circles around the block.

She hadn't seen Jane in a few days, work had been manic due to a double homicide that at first didn't seem linked but in the end turned out to be the same killer. She'd stolen a few moments with Jane in between autopsies, paper work and training in a new lab technician because she didn't trust anyone else to do it.

When the detective got out of the car her heart skipped a beat. The dress was clinging to every curve, her curls were loose and barely tamed and her legs were elongated perfectly by the royal blue heels and just above knee dress Maura had helped Jane pick out a few weeks earlier.

The silver locket Jane had around her neck contained a picture of TJ on one side and a picture of her and Maura they'd taken one night on her sofa on the other. Maura had given it to her as a gift for their 1-month anniversary. Jane almost laughed until she realised Maura was serious about a 1-month anniversary and so she had bit her lip having to make it up to her girlfriend with sexual favours, many sexual favours and breakfast in bed the next morning.

When they walked in greetings and kisses were exchanged, Jane wrapping Maura in a hug and kissing the side of her head gently as she whispered into her ear "You owe me big time, you know what happens when you get this many Rizzoli's together in one place"  
Maura laughed as she pulled back and said quietly "Yes I do. Belching contests, conversations about grandbabies, potential future wives and the possibility that your Aunty Theresa might just actually be an atheist.

"You look beautiful by the way" Jane said running her eyes over the cream figure hugging dress with the black velvet ribbon tied at the back that Maura was wearing that she hadn't seen before. She was used to that. In fact she was convinced there was a secret door at the back of Maura's closet that lead to four more to store all the clothes she had.

Korsak Frost and Cavanaugh appeared at the back door to tell Maura the Barbeque was lit and they were ready for the food.

The Rizzoli's stepped in to help carry the food into the yard and Jane took TJ out of his carrycot to settle him in the travel cot in the living room that Maura had bought for when he came over, which was often. She was leaning over the cot making faces at her nephew who was giggling, when she felt Maura's arms come around her waist from behind.

"You know he can see you properly now even from this distance because his vision is fully focused. His hearing and sense of smell are also well developed"

"Good to know. I'll be sure to play classical music and cook haut-cuisine from now on"  
She felt Maura squeeze her tighter kissing her neck as she said

"Haha very funny Aunty Jane" looking over her shoulder into the cot to talk to TJ she said "Isn't your Aunty Jane so funny TJ"

TJ began to wiggle and smile. He knew Maura's voice and she always had a way to make him laugh even when he was in a bad mood. She reached into the cot and picked him up.

"Maura, I'm just after putting him down. He's never going to settle if you keep picking him up and putting him down like you love to"

"Relax Jane I've got something for him in the garden I think he'll enjoy". Maura walked towards the backyard and Jane laughed as she heard Maura talking to TJ about his grouchy Aunty Jane and how she "eats baddies for breakfast if they don't behave".

When she got to the backyard she realised they were the last to arrive. Frost, Korsak and Cavanaugh were at the Barbeque arguing over the best way to cook burgers; Frankie, had finished work and he and Tommy were shooting hoops, Angela was seated in the shade watching everyone else do the catering for a change and Maura's mother who was in town for a new installation had visited for a few hours. Maura had hyperventilated for a good half hour over the fact she was inviting her mother to a Barbeque and not a twelve-course meal but Jane finally calmed her down enough to remind her that Constance had managed to eat a burger and drink a milkshake at the Dirty Robber without it causing a national disaster. It took a lot of talking Maura down but Jane managed it. Maura's concerns about what everyone else thought of her had calmed significantly since she had started dating Jane. So much so that Maura had managed to tell her mother about her relationship with Jane during a phone call. Face to face was almost impossible because Constance's diary was so unpredictable so Maura gathered her confidence and although it had been a difficult conversation and her mother was shocked at first, Jane sat with her the whole time rubbing her leg and handing her tissues as mother and daughter spoke. As Constance watched Jane and Maura walking into the yard now, Maura with TJ in her arms, Jane shouting something about the boys about them being lucky she was in heels, she smiled. Maura's childhood had been focused on academia. They wanted the best for her. But Constance realised that the best wasn't always pretty clothes and expensive schools shoes, expensive fee paying schools and tutors all of which Maura had. Sometimes the best was a hug or a kiss on a cut knee or to watch a film because it was fun not because it was educational.

Maura's present for TJ was a swing with mirrors and various other musical and colourful accoutrements that had him fascinated the minute she put him in. He squealed in delight when Maura pressed a button and row-row-row your boat started to play.

Tommy and Frankie joined them as they saw the food moving towards the table and Tommy thanked Maura for TJ's gift telling her again that there was no need for her to spoil him.

"I like spoiling him Tommy. Besides it's an educational centre, he can learn about colours and music and his reflection from it"

Jane sighed as she leaned her head on Maura's shoulder. This was perfect. Much as she hated to admit it because it would involve acknowledging she liked family gatherings, Jane was never as content as she was when she had everyone she loved around her.

She looked around the table. Frost, Frankie and Tommy were grabbing for food as if there wasn't enough for seconds and thirds with the amount Maura had bought. Constance was talking to Korsak about her installation – Korsak pretending to understand what the cultured woman was saying but failing miserably. And Cavanaugh and her Ma were beside them talking quietly. Her boss had been a frequent caller since Angela had been shot. At first Jane had been freaked out. Flashbacks to the night they found him flat on his back in the yard in just his vest and boxers still haunted her. But recent events had taught her that happiness was something everyone should have.

She looked down at TJ who was still absolutely fascinated by his new toy even though he'd pressed everything repeatedly by now. She was in awe of how simple the life of a baby was and also how similar some of the squad were maturity wise in comparison to TJ. She laughed to herself and Maura felt her head move on her shoulder.

"Making yourself laugh with your wittiness again detective?"

Jane lifted her head off Maura's shoulder and stuck her tongue out making Maura laugh.

"Very mature Jane"  
"Actually I was just thinking about maturity and how some of the guys are about as mature as TJ but I guess I just turned into one of them didn't I?"

"Yes sticking out your tongue is quite juvenile. So is your complete inability to eat anything without dissecting it into tiny bits"  
Maura had put a salad in front of Jane and she was using a fork to break it up

"There could be anything in this thing. I'm going to find a green fly one day, I'm telling you"  
Maura stuck her tongue out and Jane laughed.

Angela piped up from the other end of the table "You two seem full of they joys today"

"Yes Angela your daughter is just proving how even though she is the eldest of your children in terms of age, in terms of maturity she is actually the youngest"

At that exact moment Tommy slapped Frankie upside the head for stealing the burger bun he wanted and Frankie reacted by squeezing the ketchup in his hand into Tommy's lap

"You were saying?" Jane asked accusingly

The whole table burst out laughing as Angela got up and smacked them both upside their heads for acting like toddlers and ruining Doctor Isle's chairs.

"It's ok Angela, the dry cleaners can get ketchup out"

"You're not paying for these two idiots Maura, I'll clean them. And they'll pay by washing up when we're finished, isn't that right boys" Angela had a grip on the tip of each of their ears so there wasn't going to be any argument "Yes Ma" came the joint response.

Korsak made his way back to the Barbeque to retrieve some more food for the table. There was still enough on the plates but he was looking more perplexed as the minutes passed by what Constance was talking about.

Constance moved to sit beside Maura and Jane moved to lift her head from Maura's shoulder and instantly she felt Maura slip an arm around her waist to keep her close. She was unbelievably proud of her in that moment. She knew that move took a lot of strength on Maura's part.

Constance hadn't spoken to Jane since she had arrived so she said hello as she sat.

"Jane it is lovely to see you again"  
"You too Constance"

"Maura, you look radiant"  
Maura blushed at the compliment. She was getting more used to accepting them – Jane told her every day how beautiful she was. But she couldn't quite accept them from others yet.

"I've never worn this dress before but it's quite out of fashion. I really should have purchased something more this season but our workload has been quite heavy and the delivery company I use for online purchases has been less than reliable recently. Maura heard Jane whisper quietly into her ear "Take the compliment Doctor"  
"But thank you mother" Maura finished her ramble there.

"Jane you look quite stunning as well"  
"Thanks. Your daughter has good taste" Jane laughed but Constance looked at her sincerely as she said "Yes she does".

Jane smiled as Constance got up and kissed them both on the head as she returned to sit with Korsak.

Maura had a tear in her eye as she turned to kiss Jane lightly on the lips.

"Wow" was all Jane could manage.

"I know, wow"  
Jane smiled, "So talking Encyclopaedia Britannica with a built in dictionary doesn't actually have a synonym for every occasion"

Maura didn't hear her however. She had shifted her gaze to her mother who along with Korsak was cooing over TJ. She looked at everyone around the table and realised that this was her life now and it made her more content than she'd ever been. This was how it would be from here on, which is why today was perfect for her surprise visit from a special guest.

She checked her watch and got up from the chair kissing Jane quickly promising she'd be back in a moment.

Jane moved towards the other end of the table to chat to Korsak and her Ma. She noticed that Cavanaugh was holding her mother's hand under the table and she smiled. She reined in the thoughts trying to burst loose of how awkward this could get. Having nearly lost her mother for all she cared Angela could start dating Stanley once he treated her well.

Inside Maura opened the door before her guest had a chance to knock.

"Hey Doc"  
Maura's nerves were getting the better of her and her guest could see it. He pointed towards the back patio and Maura nodded.

Jane did a double take when Maura walked towards them with a man in a tuxedo, hair slicked back, looking like he hadn't worn a suit in decades.

Frankie shot a look at Jane "Is that?"  
"I think so"

"Vanilla, Mrs. Vanilla, fine detectives of the BPD. How are we all this wonderful afternoon?"

Maura was standing behind him smiling.

The people seated around the table were more than slightly bewildered, half of them knowing who Rondo was, the other half not.

Angela stood up and went to hug him.

"You doing ok Mrs. Vanilla"

"I'm good thank you Raymond. You scrub up well. Just how I remember you back in the day"  
"Yeah I'd forgotten what this stuff felt like, kinda itchy" he said, pulling the shirt away from his neck.

Maura had disappeared back inside and reappeared with a single speaker and a mic attached and a stereo.

Jane was becoming more and more confused as Angela enthused "Raymond, are you going to sing for us"

"If that's ok with you Mrs. Vanilla. The Doc and me got to talking when she was taking care of me for that gunshot and she's a real good listener. I told her some stuff about me singing in the past and well she needed a favour. Couldn't say no after she looked after me the way she did"

Maura handed him the mic and he took a seat on the stool she'd brought out from the kitchen.

Maura held her hand out and Jane stood to join her as Rondo began to sing a slow version of Human Nature by Michael Jackson. It appeared they had agreed a set list because music began to play from the stereo.

Maura took Jane's hands and pulled her close, encircling her waist and kissing her gently.

"Maura what the hell?"  
Maura laughed.

"Seriously?" Jane said in that high-pitched tone that all members of BPD knew all to tell meant time to run.

Maura just continued to laugh and Jane became concerned she was going to hyperventilate.

"Maur?"  
Maura leaned her head onto Jane's shoulder and asked softly "Be quiet, just for a minute. Listen to him sing. He has a wonderful voice"

And Jane had to agree as she listened to Rondo sing. He had real talent. The others had joined them slowly, Angela dancing with Cavanaugh; Korsak with Constance and Frost Frankie and Tommy had formed a circle with their arms in the middle of which they'd placed TJ. They were twirling him around to a warning from Angela "If he pukes on any of you don't come running to me"

Jane could almost hear Maura's mind turning over, her heartbeat strong and fast through her chest.

Rondo started into the next song. It was an all time favourite of Maura's called Kentish Town Waltz. It was an old Irish song, which she loved before she knew anything of her roots. She'd shared it with Jane one night as they sat talking and Jane ended up humming it for a week, much to her annoyance and Maura's delight. It was a love song, which referenced a couple, who no matter how bad it got, always stuck together.

"_There's ups and there's downs_

_But you're the one for all my life_

_My true love I have found_

_Yeah you my love I've found"_

Rondo's words filled the space as Maura waltzed with Jane. For a moment it didn't feel like there was anyone else there. The sun was shining giggles and soft whispers and kisses were being exchanged as Rondo continued.

"_But we stuck with each with all our might_

_We pulled together and held on tight_

_And I'm glad for us yeah I'm glad mo chroí_

_But it's nothing to anyone 'cept you and me"_

Jane felt Maura still in her arms and take a deep breath. She pulled back to look into those hazel eyes she loved but she missed them by seconds and she wasn't quite sure why. It seemed like everything was going in very slow motion as she realised where Maura was.

Everyone around them had stopped dancing and she was pretty sure she heard her mother shriek but she wasn't quite sure.

She looked down at Maura on one knee in front of her, tears in her eyes. She was trying desperately to focus on what her beautiful girlfriend was saying but she was finding it rather difficult to breath.

"Jane?"

Jane shook her head to try and clear the fog as she looked down again at Maura just to make sure she was really there. Then she listened.

"You told me a while ago that I was a better Rizzoli than you are. We established it's not true; it's so very far from true. But if you allow me, I want to try every day to be part of your wonderful family and make you part of mine. Jane Rizzoli will you marry me?"

"Jane?" Maura was getting seriously worried that Jane was having some kind of absence seizure.

Jane stepped out of her heels and knelt down on the ground beside Maura.

"Yes, of course I'll marry you Maur, I love you"  
Maura threw her arms around Jane's neck and kissed her passionately forgetting that anyone else was there until they heard the cheers and applause from behind them

"I love you so much Jane"  
Jane stood up brining Maura with her slipping her arms around her waist and swinging her around, feet off the ground, as she kissed her neck.

"You had all this planned didn't you?" She put her girlfriend down and saw the shy nod and grin.

"My mother has the most impossible schedule and I wanted everyone here". This is the only weekend everyone was free until next November. Maura reached into the band of her dress, which she'd, sewn a little pouch into for this occasion. She didn't care that she'd ruined an expensive dress, what was in the pouch was far more precious.

The crowd behind them was descending so Maura put her hand up to halt them for a moment as she took Jane's hand in hers. She slipped a white gold band onto Jane's ring finger. The front of the band split in two and the white gold bands intersected at the mid point – one plain the other with small diamond and emerald stones.

She took the second identical ring and gave it to Jane. Jane slipped it onto Maura's ring finger and enveloped her in a hug tears falling quietly on both women's shoulders.

Angela's tears replaced Maura's as her mother grabbed her and spun her round quickly grabbing Maura with her and wrapping them in a bone-crushing hug.

"My girls, my beautiful girls" Jane wriggled as she tried to get out of her mother's grasp but it was pointless. When she finally released her grip Tommy and Frankie had her sandwiched in.

Jane managed to turn her head to the right to see Constance holding a still crying Maura in her arms.

"Who'd have thought Maura wore the trousers" Tommy said. He regretted it as soon as he said it when he felt a dig in his ribs on either side – one from Jane one from Tommy.

Korsak was next over TJ in his arms "I'm impressed Janie, marrying a doctor eh? Who'd have thought it?"  
"I'm not sure if that was a compliment or an insult Korsak but thanks"

He pulled her in for a hug "A compliment Janie, definitely a compliment. I'm so happy for you and the doc"

Cavanaugh raised his glass to her and smiled. She nodded in acknowledgment as she walked towards Maura but was intercepted by Frost.

"Seems I lost to a better woman"  
"Frost I don't know how many beers you've had but I'd advise you to stop talking right now"  
He nodded as he kissed Jane on the cheek "She's a lucky lady Rizzoli, real lucky"

Jane smiled awkwardly as she sidestepped him. He'd come close to declaring his undying love after a few drunken nights in The Robber but Jane had laughed it off. Just now he looked sincere and Jane was both worried and amused in equal amounts. He'd get over it.

She finally made it to Constance and Maura, the former enveloping her in a hug.

"Did you know she had this planned?" Jane asked accusingly.

"I had no idea Jane. I wish I had I would have made plans to stay longer in the city and celebrate with you. But I will make a concerted effort to come back before the wedding.

Jane's face dropped slightly. She forgot about the wedding bit – she was still concentrating on the engagement. There was going to have to be some serious negotiations on who when what and where when it came to their big day. Right now Jane just let it wash over her as she made her way towards her girlfriend, no her fiancée she corrected herself in her head.

"I didn't think it was possible to love you more. But right now…"

Jane's words trailed off as she took Maura into her arms and kissed her temple.

Maura nodded against her chest "I know what you mean darling. Loving you gets better every day"

Rondo was now singing a Leonard Cohen number as the guests continued to congratulate the ladies and talk about dresses and Angela's favourite topic, grandbabies and who was going to have them – both according to Angela. This was ideal; they could have twice as many babies. Jane shuddered as Maura squeezed her hip and smiled. She reassured Jane "Don't worry Angela will have her hands full with TJ for at least another four years – we have time"

Oddly enough talk of babies didn't panic Jane half as much as big white dresses and table settings.

They danced for another hour until there was a bit of a chill in the air. Maura insisted that Rondo stay and have dinner. Korsak made some more food for him. Constance bid them all fair well and promised again that she'd be back to see them before the wedding. Eventually after a feed TJ settled for a nap and Tommy and Angela decided it was time they made a move while he was settled. Tommy and Frankie had fulfilled earlier promise to wash up and so as the last of their guests left Maura and Jane settled on the sofa for the evening, changed into sweats and t-shirts so they could fully relax.

Maura took Jane's hand interlacing their fingers – engagement rings glittering in the firelight. She leaned in to kiss her fiancée and moaned as Jane moved her hands up her sides and cupped her breasts through her t-shirt and bra.

"Maura Isles-Rizzoli – it has quite a ring to it Maura said as she smiled into Jane's kiss.

"Eh Isles- Rizzoli? And why exactly would your name be first?"

"I proposed"  
"That is not a reason"  
"It comes first alphabetically"  
"That is not a reason"  
"It sounds better"  
"That is not a reason"  
"I'm not wearing any panties"  
"That's a reason"

Jane leaned in to recapture Maura's lips as she lifted her up and began to carry her to the bedroom.

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**A/N: Epilogue will be up one I get it absolutely right. Apologies for any typos above – they're all mine! Please feel free to review and make any suggestions! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Epilogue**

**ONE YEAR LATER**

Jane sat with her head against the headboard Maura nestled in her arms rambling on about some new finger printing technique that could revolutionise getting prints from burn victims. She was saying how they had basically robbed Hope's idea because she hadn't patented it but they'd improved on it slightly. Jane was drifting in and out of Maura's spiel. Her eyes were fixed on the closet doors of the hotel room. The sun was setting and the last rays were catching flecks of light were casting coloured rays across the room.

"We're getting married". Jane was still staring at the coloured rays twinkling all around.

Maura stopped mid-sentence to admonish Jane for not listening to her but then followed her gaze to the dresses hanging on the closet door. The sequins on her silk ballroom type gown were causing a spectacular light show. Jane's cream column dress with a simple little panel of lace in the bottom left corner at her ankle was in stark contrast. But Maura knew no matter how much pressure she or Angela put on her wife to be about cuts and cloths and accessories it was futile. Jane had tried on three dresses and settled on the second after Maura had categorically ruled out a Red Sox Jersey. Maura's dress was minus the twenty-foot train as a compromise. Jane was too afraid TJ would break his neck on it as he did his pageboy routine.

She had allowed Maura pick ridiculously expensive shoes for her and then found the exact same pair for quarter of the price online while swearing to Maura she'd gone back to the store after 'thinking about them a bit'. She'd had to keep Maura out of that shoe store for the last three months as a result lest she talk about Jane's beautiful shoes with one of the shoe sales people, all of whom she knew by name.

"Yes we are" Maura grinned  
"Holy Shit we're getting married"  
"Jane language"

"Seriously?"  
"Well the words Holy and that profanity should not be used in one sentence"  
"When did you get all religious?"  
"Well we are getting married tomorrow"  
"In a non-faith ceremony Maur. Remember?"  
They'd debated this long and hard. For so long it almost derailed the entire day. Angela had even managed to find a Catholic priest who was willing to marry them in the eyes of God. Jane exposed him as a scam artist and a non-ordained scam artist at that.

They'd eventually settled on a wedding in the grounds of a local hotel, which had recreated a waterfall and old mill in the gardens. They were having the whole event outdoors with marquees for dinner and dancing. Maura had been watching the weather channel for the last fortnight to ensure that the good weather they were experiencing was going to continue. In fact Jane was pretty sure that was all they'd watched for the last two weeks solid. Maura tried to switch it off when she came into the room but Jane caught her every time and told her to leave it.

Now as Jane lay in bed holding the love of her life in her arms she knew it had all been worth it. Every last minute had lead to this. Shooting herself, killing Hoyt, being kidnapped fighting off those who tried to harm Maura. All of it had been worth it because it lead her here to this moment. Jane buried her face in Maura's neck and Maura felt a few tears fall against her skin.

Maura turned to look into Jane's eyes. She knew how much the detective hated displaying weakness.

"Jane?" she enquired tentatively.

"I'm ok"  
"If it's all too much we can call it off"  
What Jane loved most about that statement was that she knew it was completely true. Maura had realised that the more intense she got about the wedding the more Jane freaked out. So she'd learned some breathing techniques in yoga and decided that nothing was worth freaking Jane out for. Jane had had enough traumas in her life for ten life times; Maura was not going to add to that by making what was meant to be one of the happiest days of their lives one of the most stressful.

"Thank You but no, no it's not the wedding. I think we'll be fine. I'm more worried about Ma and Pop and whether they can be civil for the day"

"Is that why you're crying?"  
"No I'm crying because I realised that all the stuff that hurt, all the stuff I did to myself and that others did to me were my life lessons. They all made me the person I am today. They all taught me that the love that I have for you is the most real feeling in the entire world. I always worried I wouldn't know what love was when it came along. And now I'm marrying you tomorrow and I've never been more certain of anything ever"  
Maura kissed Jane gently and twirled one of her curls on her finger as she smiled

"I have never been more sure of anything ever either. Since emotions aren't tangible my disregard for them was a constant in my life for many decades. I didn't think emotions were real, just imaginary phenomenons. But I know now what love is. I know what all those soppy love songs are about. I understand why Valentine's Day is such a money earner and why people use phrases such as 'love sick' and 'love struck'.

Jane laughed against the side of her fiancées head. Trust you to bring it back around to phraseology and global consumerism. She took hold of Maura's hips as she flipped them over so the was straddling her, blonde hair looking like honey syrup in the sunlight, hazel eyes flecked with green and gold, pale skin perfect as she looked down at the woman below her. Jane would never get sick of looking at this Maura, never.

"You, my God you are the most beautiful woman alive, do you know that?"  
For once Maura was taken off guard and had nothing to say about bone structure or skin tones. Jane was glad because talking wasn't top on her list of priorities.

Maura saw the glint in Jane's eye and was about to warn her to behave. But she remembered the night before when Jane had made love to her on the couch of their suite, nothing but her tongue bringing her to orgasm. She was still quivering inside from it. She needed to feel Jane take her again, to make her hers.

Jane's curls surrounded her face as Jane leaned in and began to explore every inch of her mouth with her tongue. Maura was already moaning and Jane hadn't even moved her hands.

"Baby, please!"

Jane giggled as she bumped Maura's nose with hers and rubbed over and back. She wanted to play but Maura had that look in her eye that said

"Fuck Me" – just as Jane thought it Maura said it out loud.

Jane wanted to do exactly as Maura required, not just tonight but always. She never wanted to see that concerned or scared look on Maura's face again unless it was in one of her socially inept moments. And only then when she was there to save her and explain. No one would ever laugh at her wife, belittle her wife, demean her wife. 'Wife' the word swirled around in her head as her fingers found wet folds, legs lolling open inviting her in. She placed a gentle kiss on Maura's tummy no longer needing to seek permission to slip inside Maura, as she'd told her before. But nonetheless wanting to give her slight warning. They'd develop the tummy kiss as that warning.

Jane plunged two fingers in slipping in easily setting a steady fast rhythm. She lay her head on Maura's stomach again and felt fingers in her hair, scratching her scalp gently, encouraging her to keep up her pace.

"Jane, baby, I need more… please more… ah"  
Jane slipped a third finger in with little resistance and smiled as Maura's tummy tensed against her head and her hips rose being held in place by Jane's head. Jane planted a gentle kiss on her lower abdomen as she set a new pace with three fingers.

Maura was thrashing about trying desperately to cum, she needed it badly and she needed it now. Jane knew what Maura's body movements meant by now but Maura still liked to voice her needs.

"Tongue, hon lick, liiickk me… please"

"Ok sshhh I got you baby"

Jane placed the tip of her tongue on Maura's clit swirling it around as Maura's hips rose off the bed to push against her.

"Uh, yes, yes Jane yes"  
Jane kissed her way down to meet her fingers still buried in Maura's dripping core lapping up the escaping wetness, kissing back up to suck Maura's hard clit into her mouth again.

Maura screamed as she came hard, Jane's name repeated like a mantra as her muscles clasped around the fingers buried deep inside her. Her breathing was raspy as she felt Jane kiss her way back up her body, veering off occasionally to find a spot that Jane knew she loved to have kissed. They'd done body maps one night and found all of each other's weak points. Jane remembered every one and used them to make Maura jump or smile when she's least expecting it. In this case it was her hipbone and as Jane ran her tongue along it Maura shuddered almost coming again. Jane peppered random kissed here and there finally reaching Maura's lips, kissing her softly pulling back to look into those beautiful eyes that were just opening. She removed her fingers causing a long groan from the soft body underneath her.

"Hi"  
"Hi" Maura smiled

"We're getting married"

Maura laughed as Jane repeated it again.

"Yes we are. You" she stopped to kiss Jane quickly "Jane Rizzoli are going to be my wife"

"Jane Rizzoli-Isles, has a lovely ring to it"  
Maura swatted her gently on the arm "Isles-Rizzoli Maura laughed"

"We never did settle this did we?"  
"How about Rizzles?"  
"Rizzles" Maura repeated. "Hmm might work"  
They settled side-by-side Jane stroking Maura's hair as she fell asleep dreaming about tomorrow and forever.

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**A/N So I had to get the dresses in – it is Maura Isles after all. Sorry but much like Jane I'm not that knowledgeable about dresses. Please feel free to leave a review – as I've said before, if you liked, if you didn't, why, why not! It all helps. Going to get to a few Rolivia one shots now and I've to restart a Rizzles one I started last year – only a paragraph in so it'll be a while in the making – sorry! Thanks for all the reviews and follows and nice words, you're all very sweet. **


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